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1448936 tn?1363206346

i dont know whats wrong with me.

I thought I was getting better. I almost felt like my old self then today its back to the same old anxiety and weird symptoms. I'll give some background...

I lost my grandma in january of 2010. I was very close to her, I considered her to be my mom so the loss was incredibly hard on me. I started noticing some gastro problems in march of 2010 which docs seemed to think were from depression and anxiety. Those gastro problems persisted until last month when they seemed to dissipate and I got my appetite back and put about 8lbs after losing 14lbs. I also was experiencing severe panic attacks, agoraphobia, and constant anxiety. Last month I started working full time again, I was eating normally, and only experiencing some mild anxiety with a random manageable panic attack here and there.

Today however I woke up with that anxious feeling and have been having some stomach problems. I've been noticing horrible cramping and having a bathroom emergency which were typical of my day back when my anxiety was off the charts. I felt hungry but had no desire to eat anything and now I'm feeling anxious and nauseous. I'm in the midst of doing tests with my gi doc but so far nothing physically wrong has come up.

I'm scared my anxiety is coming back. I don't know what to do. I don't want my life to go back to how it was during all that anxiety. It was awful. I want to cry right now because I thought I finally beat the horrific anxiety that plagued me everyday for over a year.

Can this just be a fluke and maybe just a result of life stressors? My bf hurt his hand and can't work and needs surgery next week and won't be able to work for another 7 weeks after that so everything has been falling on me...bills, household chores, work etc. I'm hoping its just anxiety due to what's happening right now and will subside after he starts collecting workers comp. Help!! I'm so upset right now. :(
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Avatar universal
Again, just reading this thread is inspiring.  I agree that one of the most courageous things anyone can do is to confront their anxiety.  I have been on multiple deployments overseas and been in some really sticky situations over the years, but I have never been in more fear than when I initially had to confront my panic/anxiety.  I agree, it is not a weakness, but a strength because just being able to function with it amazes me, but as you go though your experience with this, so many of us learn so much about who we are when we look back on the experience.  Of course it REALLY ***** (sorry, I think ***** pretty much sums it up) when we are in the middle of it but in my experience over time we start to understand how this makes us so much stronger in the long run....
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Avatar universal
Hi I too had a horrible year last year and went through alot with the anxiety...n Just when I thought I was normal again boom i just started having panic attacks about a month a go.. I know we are strong enough to beat this I just try n stay positive..And reading the post yes we do deserve a pat on the back because anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with and it takes a strong person to get through it,,I too lost my grandmother, my bofriend, a baby, my best friend and I was robbed all in the last 5 years and it all is seeming to crumble down. My best friend dying and the robbery was less than a year ago...I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother:( Loosing a loved one is a very horrible thing to go through...I wish the best for you...I can relate to your frustration of thinking the anxiety is all over with then having to deal with all over again...If you need to talk message me...Sometimes it helps to talk.Goodluck to You!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I really like your comment about giving ourselves a pat on the back for even dealing with this...I used to view my anxiety as a weakness but in actuality we are very strong..I have a great marriage and family and career despite my internal struggles...Sometimes I'm amzed I can make it through the day with all the fear and worry I carry around....we really all do deserve a pat n the back....
Helpful - 0
784558 tn?1276007829
Get a professional diagnosis, Doc/Psych. Online a diagnosis can't be given, only support/shared experiences. ~Anxiety does wreck a lot of lives, I can only function with the aid of meds/gamily/friends/medical community on occasions. Knowing how bad some others things are for others is often unhelpful, but sometimes it's good to just count your blessings & think of how it would be if you were in (say Japan) where so many have lost everything, including their lives. It is possible to live with anxiety, but better to do whatever keeps it at bay. Wishing you freedom from this curse, Life can be good again, no matter how bed it sometimes seems. George
Helpful - 0
1448936 tn?1363206346
I am in counseling and it helped tremendously. I should be proud of how far I've come and I am. I couldn't even work before, let alone hold a full time job. I guess I also have to keep in mind that I've beaten horrible anxiety before and if it comes down to it I can do it again. Thanks so much for the reply. I really did need to stop to think about what I have accomplished.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This is what can make anxiety so stressful in my opinion...you think you have control of it and then it seems to come back out of nowhere.  As with any experience, we are going to have are good and bad days, and anxiety is no different.  This is something that cannot be 'wished' away in my opinion, although I really wish we could:).  Try to focus on the positive side of this...you have been dealing with a lot and have been managing quite well, so make sure you give yourself credit for that.  Too often, people don't give themselves a pat on the back for being able to even function with this let alone do what you are doing with it, so don't sell yourself short on what you have accomplished so far...you have made progress, for which you deserve a lot of credit.

Are you currently in counseling right now for your anxiety?  In my experience with this, gaining the knowlege about your anxiety can help you formulate a long term plan to confront and deal with it over time.  So, again, give yourself credit and remember we are going to have our down days...focus on what you have already done, which is a lot!  Keep us posted!
Helpful - 0
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