seasonal anxiety?

[tschock]

We've all heard of seasonal depression, but is there such a thing as seasonal anxiety?

Every winter it's the same thing...I don't get depressed, but I get anxious while being awake when it's dark.
I've never been afraid of the dark...but for the past few years, I feel myself starting to get closer to panic attacks when the sun goes down, or before it comes up.
Today was such a blessing...because of the time change I was able to wake up as the sun was just poking it's head up.
However, I know this won't last too long. I know that within a week or two I'll be waking up in the dark again.
Last night I almost lost it while waiting for hubby to get home. I felt the old, familiar stirrings of a panic attack trying to rear it's ugly head. It never surfaced, but it was ever so close.
I try not to think about it...and it's easier when the sun is shining...but as the light fades...I can't help but to think about it. I try to push it back, but not sure how much longer I can do that.
I have stopped drinking coffee, as was suggested by a nurse, and that seems to help...until I smell the coffee...and then I can't help but have a cup. This triggers the anxiety, so I try and refrain. Hubby has started leaving in the morning without having his coffee...he goes to Tim's instead so that I'm not tempted...except for the past 3 days. After just one cup I find myself on edge. Need better self control. lol
So has anyone ever heard of seasonal anxiety?
Would a sun lamp help? I have one here, but I can't exactly take it from room to room with me. lol

[mammo]

It sounds like you need to limit all caffeine from your diet.  You can drink caffeine free coffee.  You may want to try keeping a lot of lights on to keep your surroundings bright.  When you wake up in the morning and it's dark...get right up, don't allow yourself to just lie there....too much time to think!  But I think therapy would really benefit you as to why the darkness brings on anxiety, there may be an underlying reason.  If so, once you learn what this is you can deal with it and ease your anxiety.  While waiting for your hubby to get home, keeps lots of lights on and watch upbeat things on TV or listen to upbeat music.  But the real issue is "why" you feel this way and that needs to be addressed.  I've not heard of this with anxiety but the winter definitely can bring on depression.  I hope this helps.

[tschock]

My mom made a good point today...
Every time something bad in my life has happened...every time someone close to me dies...I always seem to get the news in the middle of the night...except for when my dad died...it was already sunny out by that time of the morning.
If the phone rings when I'm asleep I jump out of my skin.
I've always been a very light sleeper, and I think perhaps it may be due to this.
The only thing that bothers me about that though, is that this ONLY happens in the winter months...especially this year.
Maybe it's because the one year anniversary of my dad's passing is on the 25th of this month.
I think that's it...broke in to tears as I typed that...think I got a Bingo.

Thanks for making me think things over...hopefully this is the start of recovery. : )