Can bipolar hv baby?

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I don't know whether is safe with the medicine and I also don't know how to cope afterward. Will I survive through this idea of pregnancy or just forget it?

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Thank you for ur advice.

[lindahand]

I am sorry you had to go through such a traumatic time. I do know people on meds who had perfectly healthy babies - but I think if you are on meds you gotta be prepared for a kid with disabilities. But a kid being born with a disability is still a good thing if they are loved.

It has been tough for me to come to terms with the fact that I won't be a mom. But I know that it is the decision that has to be. Unless some miracle happens and stability and energy magically appear - that is my reality. So I hug my fur baby, and lavish attention on the dog. Its not the same, but it helps.

Take care. I wish life could be easier for the both of us. Sometimes this illlness is really unfair.

And there are other ways to have kids in your life. If you are stable on meds you could for example foster to adopt an older child. The good thing about adopting an older child is they need you more, and many babies being adopted are fetal alcohol and you don't know it until the kid is older. Adopting a toddler, or even a school age kid gives them a second chance.

[Presentthought]

Thanks for ur comment! The things is I don't really think any arrangement will be good enough. I just think believing science is very important.  I had got pregnant before, I was reducing and end up off medicine for the safety of baby, but I was totally off of reality, suspicios hulliciation. I had to end my pregnancy on the 6 weeks. After that I was in hospital for half year to get myself normal with med.   So since then. I knew I had to take medicine to remain normal.

[lindahand]

Whether or not to have kids is a tough one. Most of my 20's I was in pain with another condition on mega opiates so babies weren't in the picture. Too I was married to a jerk and knew in my heart he would make a bad father. When my jaw got fixed and I remarried I thought of having kids but wanted to wait until we got our debt down.

I didn't get diagnosed until I was in my 30's. Somedays I regret not having kids when I was younger. But I went through a really messed up period. I wouldn't have been able to take care of kids during that point of time, and I think it would mess a kid up completely to have to leave their mother for months while she got her head on straight.

But I am not saying don't have kids. I am saying that for me it was a bad choice, and one that nearly tore my heart in two. I really wanted a child and had always seen myself as being a mommy some day.

I think before you even think of having a kid you have to be stable, and work really hard at the self management aspects like eating right, going to therapy, exercise, etc. And realise that all Mom's aren't perfect and the most important thing is to ensure your kids know they are loved.

Whether to med or not med is a hard choice. There are risks either way. A depressed mom to be usually has a low weight baby and can deliver early. A manic mom to be may not take care of herself and do foolish or risky things. The major risks of meds are heart defects with lithium, and cleft palat with lamotrigine. The atypical antipsychotics are not recommended during pregnancy and can cause side effects but I don't remember which ones. I just remember thinking there was no way I'd take that risk.

And the odds of going psychotic after the birth are increased so it is important to have a contingency plan in place. Someone who can step in and take care of the child for a while if you go into an episode.

So lots to think about. I think kids are a blessing and I think they deserve the best possible chance. I think if you are bipolar you could and should  consider having a family, but you better make sure your ducks are in a row before you do it.