Are BPD people ever evened out mentally?

[thecries]

My mom acts different, sometimes to quiet, sometimes talkative, somedays she is only talking about other ailments she has. If I try to talk about something in my life, she changes subjects (it's all about her). She has been very manic in the past and very depressed in the past. She is on Respidril? I think that is the med. along with an anxiety med.? She also has Thyroid disease. She will sometimes go off BPD med. saying she does not need it that it is just to help her sleep and she is sleeping fine. Denial I guess. I don't understand this disorder at all. When she is in some bad way she takes it all out on my dad. She is 75 yrs. Most time she thinks everyone should do what she wants and it should be done like.....right now. It is also like she looks for things to worry about. She is either bored or too much going on in her life she will say. She becomes obsessive about things lately she wieghs herself...alot. So does she ever even out? I know that no one is completely normal, how can we be in this world. She is part of my depression, anxiety problem I am having.

[Csandnugget]

Hello thecries,
My mom is EXACTLY the same way, will spend the whole evening talking about herself, she will interrupt every conversation to make sure that you know what she wants you to do.. and then keep on interrupting you until you do it...now.
It's very unnerving.
To your mom, her worries are probably very valid and real big issues (to her) that she feels she has to deal with right away before they get out of hand?
I also take out my moods on people closest to me - I really try not to - when I get like that, I prefer to be alone, or to go to sleep, nothing good comes of interacting with anyone when I'm dysphoric; manic/depressed at the same time.

And Understanding Bipolar? I think it's still going to take me a looong time. I always thought that I knew myself well, and introspective person. Wrong, only at 29 years do I figure out that I have BP.
Now I have to try figure out the 'me' in all my moods - and explaining it to someone else is a nightmare - because it is never the same, there is no real set pattern, it doesn't help explaining it because one just learns as you go along.

I agree with Xila, setting the boundaries with your mother will also ensure that you do not harbour (as much) resentment.

Good luck and be good to YOU. Your mom will still be up and down regardless of how much of your time you give her.  

[Xila31]

Well, that's a hard queston because it would depend on if the treatment is effective or not, and how compliant to that treatment someone is. You say BPD but talk about Respidril so you must mean bipolar and not boarderline personality disorder, or does she have both? With BPD she would need some therapy, etc. But for people with BPD the love you / hate you mentality is hard to deal with. I would say, you can't expect her to ever be any different at this point. But that doesn't mean you have to be depressed or anxiety over her.

I also think, once a person gets old enough and if they have not stabilized by then, it gets harder and harder. The older you get the more set in your ways you get. So, I think the big thing is to just know when to say, "Mom, I can't deal with you right now, okay?" I mean, if someone is bringing you down then you really have to stop and take care of yourself. Sure it might make her mad, but the reality is that you can love her and still tell her "I have to take care of myself, too."

I mean, if she wasn't your mom and just someone you knew, and you always had to deal with her problems but she never was there for you.... that's a bad friend and you would dump them. Since she is your mom you can't dump her, but maybe if she goes off on a tangent during a phone call just say, "Oh, actually I'm just heading out, talk to you later, love you bye." I know it sounds mean, but really, you can't let other people depress you.