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How do I manage my mood swings??????????/
I can't seem to handle my mood swings latley they have been out of control. I got mad today over some really stupid things and it just seems to be hurtting my realtionship that i have with my boyfriend. I get so mad when i dont get what i want and then he gets the worst end of the stick because i yell at him and make him feel bad until i just **** him off and then we end up arguing and it all leads back to me just being me for a few minutes. Then i later regret what i just did because all i want to do is love him but i cant take back what i have done and he dose not want someone like that so what do i do how do i control it. Another thing is that he dosent understand he has never had to deal with someone who has a disorder. I guess you could say that in his eyes things like this just dont exist because he has never had to encounter it first hand. PLEASE HELP
Your right it isn't simple, its real hard and there are times when I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. Like you I did find it difficult holding down a job for long and would flit from place to place, I wasn't the most reliable of employees either, my last job I ended up with a real bully for a boss and he didn't help with my self-confidence etc, my stress levels shot through the roof and it was a case of I had to give it all up. I've tried going back to work a couple of times but haven't lasted long but I'm hoping that once I find the right medication I'll be able to return to work.
Its not your fault that your relationship isn't right (as you put it), it takes 2 people to make a relationship work and if he refuses to communicate with you then he isn't putting enough effort in. My husband didn't really sit up and listen until I hit real rock bottom and a doctor gave it a name - bipolar II - then he realised plus the referral to the psychiatrist kind of kicked him up the ****. He even said, oh I thought you were just being a moody ****. I also have a very supportive mum who pointed out to him that it isn't normal for someone to lie in bed all day everyday and that I wasn't sulking I was ill.
Have you asked him to come to the doctor with you? He may listen to a professional.
Its not your fault that your relationship isn't right (as you put it), it takes 2 people to make a relationship work and if he refuses to communicate with you then he isn't putting enough effort in. My husband didn't really sit up and listen until I hit real rock bottom and a doctor gave it a name - bipolar II - then he realised plus the referral to the psychiatrist kind of kicked him up the ****. He even said, oh I thought you were just being a moody ****. I also have a very supportive mum who pointed out to him that it isn't normal for someone to lie in bed all day everyday and that I wasn't sulking I was ill.
Have you asked him to come to the doctor with you? He may listen to a professional.
You make it sound so simple in actuallity i know that it is not I just wish that i could even get a little bit of a handle on it but it just dosent seem to be happening. I guess my biggest problem is that he dosent understand and thinks it is just an excuse i use when i get really upset. He dosent listen to what i have to say nor does he try to talk about my problem which is what i really need the most because he is the one i am supposed to be able to talk with, i just cant cope i dont know what to do. I found myself this morning crying on the way to the store because i feel like a failure becaue i cant get our realtionship right.
Wow you qutting work is a big step towards recovery, i cant even keep a job because its just to much and i cant seem to stay in one place long enough. Im sure oneday i will be able to do normal things and live a normal life. So what did it finally take for your husband to realize that it is a disease not just being a lazy cow lol mine says the same thing.
THank you so much for the support it helps to have someone i can relate to.
Wow you qutting work is a big step towards recovery, i cant even keep a job because its just to much and i cant seem to stay in one place long enough. Im sure oneday i will be able to do normal things and live a normal life. So what did it finally take for your husband to realize that it is a disease not just being a lazy cow lol mine says the same thing.
THank you so much for the support it helps to have someone i can relate to.
Hi again, I tried seroquel and it didn't work for me either, there are lots of different medications out there and it is worth going back to your doc and trying something else, it can sometimes take a while to get the right one. There has been some research which has shown that a lack of certain vitamins impacts on mental health, I can't remember the whole list but nearly all the B vitamins and magnesium were mentioned as showing as being lower in people with mental health issues than those without. Vitamin B12, evening primrose oil and omega 3 have been shown to help with pmt. I would not suggest trying to get by on just vitamin supplements though, I take these only in addition to my mood stabilizer. A good diet and exercise also helps but I know that sometimes the motivation just isn't there and looking after a young baby makes things that bit harder!
With regard to your partner, don't give up, it took my husband years to accept that I had an actual mental illness and I wasn't just a moody lazy cow. He came from a family that just didn't believe in mental illness and that to admit to one was to admit to a failure of some kind. Fortunately he has learned over the 16 years we have been married that it isn't a failure, it is something beyond my control, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain which can be helped with support and medication. Would he agree to come and see your doctor with you? If not, then print off as much information on bipolar II as you can find and ask him to read it. Explain to him as calmly as you can that it is important that he tries to understand in order for you to be able to begin to cope with it.
My pdoc explained to me that I had to lessen the stress factors in my life as much as reasonably possible, I'm a mum of 4 kids and was also working, I obviously couldn't change my family situation so I had to bite the bullet and leave work which was scary on the financial front but I made a few cut backs and got accepted on disability benefit. I don't get myself in a panic over the housework and if my husband grumbles I point out that if it isn't bother me then it is his problem and he should do it!! lol!
A lot of your anger is probably down to the frustration you are feeling because of your partners inability to listen and learn how you are feeling. I prewarn my husband now when I am getting angry, I say "its not you, its me and i'm best left alone". I'm not saying this is a magic answer because obviously there are still times when he gets cross at me for sleeping, being moody etc.
Sorry if this was a bit long winded but I can really understand where you are coming from and hoping that in some little way I can help.
With regard to your partner, don't give up, it took my husband years to accept that I had an actual mental illness and I wasn't just a moody lazy cow. He came from a family that just didn't believe in mental illness and that to admit to one was to admit to a failure of some kind. Fortunately he has learned over the 16 years we have been married that it isn't a failure, it is something beyond my control, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain which can be helped with support and medication. Would he agree to come and see your doctor with you? If not, then print off as much information on bipolar II as you can find and ask him to read it. Explain to him as calmly as you can that it is important that he tries to understand in order for you to be able to begin to cope with it.
My pdoc explained to me that I had to lessen the stress factors in my life as much as reasonably possible, I'm a mum of 4 kids and was also working, I obviously couldn't change my family situation so I had to bite the bullet and leave work which was scary on the financial front but I made a few cut backs and got accepted on disability benefit. I don't get myself in a panic over the housework and if my husband grumbles I point out that if it isn't bother me then it is his problem and he should do it!! lol!
A lot of your anger is probably down to the frustration you are feeling because of your partners inability to listen and learn how you are feeling. I prewarn my husband now when I am getting angry, I say "its not you, its me and i'm best left alone". I'm not saying this is a magic answer because obviously there are still times when he gets cross at me for sleeping, being moody etc.
Sorry if this was a bit long winded but I can really understand where you are coming from and hoping that in some little way I can help.
Thank you for your feedback on my situation, and the answer to the both of your questions no i am not on any meds i was on seroquel and wow i couldnt function i have a 9 month old and that stuff makes you a zombie i couldnt wake up in the middle of the night jsut to take care of her. i was so scared that something was going to happen to her and that i was not going to wake up. I was also dragging when i went into work in the morning which was not good for my job so i quit taking them and havent since.
So what do the vitamins do and what are they? I really need any help that i can get. As for the boyfriend it is very hard explaning to him what is going on because again he dosent understand and he thinks that i use it just for an excuse for going to bed or being lazy or being so moody when i have my bad days and thats not it at all i have a problem and he cant see it and i dont know how to deal with him.
So what do the vitamins do and what are they? I really need any help that i can get. As for the boyfriend it is very hard explaning to him what is going on because again he dosent understand and he thinks that i use it just for an excuse for going to bed or being lazy or being so moody when i have my bad days and thats not it at all i have a problem and he cant see it and i dont know how to deal with him.
Hi, i've recently started a thread about just the same thing - so I can really empathise with how you are feeling. Take a look at the thread to see if there is anything there that can help.
As Venora has said, firstly are you on any medication? If not then speak to your pdoc. If you are then maybe they aren't working as well as they should be. It may also be worth having your hormone levels checked - do you notice any kind of pattern to your anger? I ask this because I know that my cycle also plays a big part and I take multi vitamins (with all the B Vits) and omega 3 to help. I took them last month and noticed a big difference, I then didn't take any this month to see what happens and so far the anger is coming back, so I'm thinking that must have helped and I shall be back on them.
It can be real hard for a partner to understand whats going on in our heads especially when half the time we are just as confused :-). Try talking to him when you are not feeling angry or emotional, explain to him that you really don't have control over the mood swings and try and come up with strategies for you both to deal with things when they get rough. I now try and stay out of everyones way, usually I go in my art shed and furiously splash paint about or lose myself in a book or on the computer and everyone knows to give me a wide berth.
This is the hardest part of bp I think, because the anger is more destructive on those around us, but keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend.
I hope you find a way through this.
As Venora has said, firstly are you on any medication? If not then speak to your pdoc. If you are then maybe they aren't working as well as they should be. It may also be worth having your hormone levels checked - do you notice any kind of pattern to your anger? I ask this because I know that my cycle also plays a big part and I take multi vitamins (with all the B Vits) and omega 3 to help. I took them last month and noticed a big difference, I then didn't take any this month to see what happens and so far the anger is coming back, so I'm thinking that must have helped and I shall be back on them.
It can be real hard for a partner to understand whats going on in our heads especially when half the time we are just as confused :-). Try talking to him when you are not feeling angry or emotional, explain to him that you really don't have control over the mood swings and try and come up with strategies for you both to deal with things when they get rough. I now try and stay out of everyones way, usually I go in my art shed and furiously splash paint about or lose myself in a book or on the computer and everyone knows to give me a wide berth.
This is the hardest part of bp I think, because the anger is more destructive on those around us, but keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend.
I hope you find a way through this.
you didnt mention if you are on meds and in therapy.If you are on meds and having these extreme mood swings then maybe you arent on the right dose or the right med.
Diet and exercise play vital role in controlling bi polar as well as the meds and therapy.Journaling too will help when you feel your emotions bubbling over write it down in your journal. It doesnt have to make sense just get those thoughts out of your head and on to paper.
it would be very helpful for the 2 of you to attend therapy sessions together so he can understand . It would help you to give you the tools and skills needed to deal with the ups and sowns of our disorder
6 small meals a day with emphasis of fruits veggies and grains.3 oz protien per meal.Absolutly no sugar or caffiene as these both aggravate bi polar and make it worse.
exercise daily even if its just a 30 brisk walk It will do wonders to improve your mood.
You could print off loads of info for your boyfriend about bi polar so eh could begin to understand and do give the joint therapy sessions a try. Keep us posted on your progress
Love Venora
Diet and exercise play vital role in controlling bi polar as well as the meds and therapy.Journaling too will help when you feel your emotions bubbling over write it down in your journal. It doesnt have to make sense just get those thoughts out of your head and on to paper.
it would be very helpful for the 2 of you to attend therapy sessions together so he can understand . It would help you to give you the tools and skills needed to deal with the ups and sowns of our disorder
6 small meals a day with emphasis of fruits veggies and grains.3 oz protien per meal.Absolutly no sugar or caffiene as these both aggravate bi polar and make it worse.
exercise daily even if its just a 30 brisk walk It will do wonders to improve your mood.
You could print off loads of info for your boyfriend about bi polar so eh could begin to understand and do give the joint therapy sessions a try. Keep us posted on your progress
Love Venora
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