3 Year old boy very violent

[blayzmoon]

I may not be posting this in the correct area. I don't know where to post it. My friend's son is 3 1/2 years old and has always been  very violent and aggressive. He got a little better for w few months but all is back to normal now. He hits, kicks, bites, pulls hair, puches and threatens people with items such as scissors (stating i will cut your head off and similar things) He will threaten to throw things at people and sometimes follow thorugh with it. He is violent and hatefulk towards people generally. He acts this way with his mom, dad, sisters, friends, other peoples kids and even strangers. EG I saw him kick my new 4 pound puppy a few days ago and told him that was not okay. He lifted his fist to punch me and kicked the dog in the face again to show me he didn't care what i said. This child is my best friends son. He consistently attacks my 8 year old daughter. Not all of his acts of violence are unprovoked but most are. His mom has no clue what to do now. I suspected autism but his mom says hes just being a boy. Could she be right? Does this sound like normal 3 1/2 yr old behavior? Any advice / opinions are welcome.

[Xila31]

I agree something is out of place. If it is only a behavior problem due to parenting this is a very touchy subject, but since he was attacking your dog and child you have a right to say something. I know a boy who is somewhat severly autistic and he had some behavioral problems with violent outbursts, especially when he felt jealous. But he had a lot of other signs as well, such as no eye contact, he wasn't able to speak, and he would have outbursts about very random things such as seeing children on the t.v.

I would say have a discussion with his mom and say that until his behavior improves, he shouldn't be allowed around your daughter or dog any more. That is your right as a parent. It will be hard, but also offer to help her research what may be going on if you don't think it is only behavior.

[ILADVOCATE]

I believe there is another forum for child behavioral issues but I would tell you bipolar is rare at that age. Autism is a possibility and you should not go by what his mother said regardless. He should see a child psychologist and if they think a referral to a child psychiatrist is needed then they can decide from there. Autism involves a whole cluster of symptoms not just behavioral issues so they would have to do more to diagnose it but cognitive behavioral therapy is always a part of treating it and that could be helpful regardless.