someone help please!!

[allie3656]

hi, i was diagnosed with bi polar about 6 months ago and have gone to 3 other doctors and all have said i was misdiagnosed. the doctor who diagnosed me with BP also said he was wrong. so i have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. i only get depressed when i am severly anxious. i constantly worry and dwell over one thought. i usually dwell until i get an answer! i have recently developed floaters, but have been told that is because of anxiety, they're annoying as heck! anyways i recently went into the hospital (state hospital) and lied about being suicidal because i thought i was losing my mind!! i was on geodon in sept and stopped cold turkey, due my drs request, in nov. i had the worst anxiety of my life! but i am now on buspar and feel great, so here's my problem, ever since i stopped the geodon i haven't felt like i'm in reality. i constently touch my arm or face to see if i'm really here. or i'll find myself telling myself "this isn't real." i don't go out because of this feeling. i feel this way about 75% of the day. i'm not paranoid, i'm not delusional, i just feel like i've lost touch with reality and fear that this is psychosis. i've done so much reading on psychosis and heard that it goes away, but i'm scared that this isn't going to and i can't live like this. i do know that when i wake up in the morning i'm scared because of the unreality. the docs say that this is part of anxiety(dissociative, derealization), but i'm ready to just go on an antipsychotic just to come back to earth. i'm really scared and freaked out.i do also feel like i'm floating and fell out of my body. but i was told this is anxiety. does anyone else feel this way? i keep telling the docs i'm bipolar but they observed my in the state mental hospital for 2 weeks and said i didn't display any signs of mania or hypomania. any advice?

[innerchild09]

I can totally relate. I get like that too. I also have anxiety. So I get what your going through. I still go out when I have my problems though. But yeah it can be scary at times I think. Wow just checked the date on the orginal post. I usually dont respond to really old posts but this one I can relate to so what they hey. So yeah mental health problems is really hard to deal with at times.

[jessie786]

how much lamictal should be taken for it to be effective for treating depression i take 350 mg of lithium and 100 mg of lamictal.

[ILADVOCATE]

Your psychiatrist I would think is correct about needing an antipsychotic. If what you are describing is correct that might be dissociative identity disorder (or dissociation in some format, only a psychiatrist can make a diagnosis). That's rare but part of what works is cognitive behavioral therapy as well as talk therapy in addition to medication. Abilify is generally more tolerable than Geodon which has a fair amount of side effect among all the atypicals. Speak to your psychiatrist about all this.

[LeftCoastChick]

I'm sorry you've gone through all of that, I've had 3 diagnoses along the way, finally coming full circle to BP.  There are a few ways mania or hypomania can rear it's ugly head, and many folks aren't aware. It can show up as being cranky, short tempered, impulsive behaviours, hoarding, partying too much, getting upset very quickly. Your moods can go up and down, and not be as distictive as Bipolar 1 - I have mixed states, I can have feelings of depression, impatience/crankiness, feeling like I've had too much, coffee ,anxiety  to mention a few. Disassociation can be one of them too. There are a multitude of symptoms, not just the manic and depressive states. There can also be other diagnoses along side. I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which can get triggered by my hpomanic and/or depression.  I flew under the "radar" for years, with mostly depression, but an episode of severe depression triggered my BP, this happens with many folks.
As long as you can get on stabilzing meds, isn't that the most important thing? You may have had those feelings on Geodon, without the drug. So there are variables that may have been unseen.

[allie3656]

ok. i should also add that the geodon made me extremly happy and then very depressed. i've never felt like that in my life. i've never felt euphoria until i went on geodon. and i also was very angry on it. i still had massive panic attacks on it. i swear being on that pill made me bipolar. the docs also say that this "derealization" is a self-hypnotic state. that i've experienced trauma in my life and this is a coping mechanisim. and they say me telling them i'm bipolar is my hypochondria! lol! and to be honest of what i've read on this site and many others about bipolar symptoms, i don't have any mania. i do get irritable, but thats due to my anxiety which then leads to depression. ugh! i hate mental illnesses! thanks to all who read my rant!