never hallucinated before. They put me on risperdal and I started hallucinating

[nicknameneeded]

I kept getting into hospital for suicidal ideations, and they keep telling me I'm bipolar. I'm not aggressive, I never had a mania, I am described as a very mellow person and some people have thought that I'm autistic actually, but they said "bipolar" and the diagnosis was after one hospital where they put me on some meds, antidepressants and other meds that made me hallucinate. So they keep putting me on risperdal all the time, and when I take this stupid thing I keep hallucinating and seeing things in strange green color. So I stop taking it, and I stop hallucinating and I'm able to keep off of it, but I keep getting depressed and they keep on saying that I'm bipolar, partially because my mom keeps on lying to them. Other antipsychotics make me so and unable to keep focused as well, they make me loose all emotions and I hate taking them. How do I solve this? It's an issue because I don't hallucinate when I don't take them at all.

[specialmom]

I'm really sorry this is happening to you!  I'm not sure why you are being diagnosed with bipolar unless some symptoms that you aren't really aware of are apparent to the doctor team that is treating you.  I would imagine that your mother is quite desperate to get help for you if you are threatening suicide.  That's terrifying for your loved ones and that you are contemplating it is telling of deep depression that does need to be treated.  If you are given Risperdal, an antipsychotic, and it has side effects that do not work for you, and thus, you are not compliant, this helps no one.  Your doctors need to know that you've stopped the medication and are med free right now.  You must be a minor and not in charge of your own medical care which makes this difficult to recommend what to do as you are dependent on your parents.  Why do you say your mom is lying?  What is she lying about?  What would be her motivation to lie?  If you were an adult, I'd suggest another treatment center or psychiatrist to do an evaluation.  Sometimes when someone is diagnosed for bipolor, they stay away from the traditional antidepressant medications such as ssri's.  but have you ever been on any of these types of drugs (Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil to name a few)?  Lamectal?  That is another drug often used in atypical bipolar disorder diagnoses.  But it is hard to give advice if you are not free to suggest your next step in care.  I would inform your mom of the hallucinations and that you are not going to take Risperdal so a new plan needs to be under way to get care for you.  Do you also do therapy/talk therapy?  That is really helpful.  I really feel for you as I'm sure this doesn't help with your feeling like things can get better.  But please know that they can and will!  We are here to help in any way we can.