Friends and relatonships

[Danni1415]

I have heard that people with bi polar have a hard time keeping friends or relationships.. Is that true? Or is it Borderline Personality I'm thinking of.

[jennykin]

I've had the exact same question since I was first diagnosed with bipolar 10 years ago.  Both BP and Borderline can have relationship issues, but for different reasons.  Borderlines are def harder to define without sounding negative (one of the reasons I was always scared of that diagnosis), but they are often manipulative (without meaning to be) and passive aggressive due to very low self esteem for reasons beyond their control.  They act out because they lack insight into how to behave in a relationship, and their families and friends lose patience with them.  

But I think whether its BPD or BP, once you've stabilized your meds, you can retrain your mind to steer clear of negative self talk which will only hurt yourself and then how you interact with your loved ones.  That, and letting your family/partner know you're doing your best to make things work despite your mental illness... and if they can't/won't accept it, find someone who will:)

[Crystal413]

I have Bipolar 1 dx 6 yrs ago. I have always had trouble keeping friends even before I knew I had Bipolar. In my case I am the one to walk away from the friendship. I gravitate towards people who are needy. When I try and try to "fix"  them and it does not work because they are the type of people who like to complain and not do a thing to help themselves, I give up. It becomes draining and I've had enough so I just walk away. I don't even try any more because I know that I gravitate towards this kind of person. It's too much work and effort only to be let down. I really don't know if the cause is my personality or the Bipolar. What I will say is that it is lonely not having friends. There is one person in my life, a sometimes walking partner. I wouldn't call her my friend really because I keep myself at a distance. She is probably the only person I have encountered that is not needy and instead very independent. I only see her if we walk. There is one more person I talk to on the phone once a week. She has Bipolar and is very needy so I keep myself at a distance because I now know what to do to protect myself.

I am not familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder so I can't answer your question about that.

You ask a good question. I think it could be ones personality or could be caused by having a mental illness.

[thatquietgirl]

I have bipolar type 1 and I've had one dating relationship in my life and it's still going.  Three and a half years strong.  The only friendships I have difficulty keeping are with superficial people who won't be themselves.  My relationship with my family is good with the exception of my dad, but that's on him.

That being said, it is common for people with bipolar disorder to lose friendships for having bipolar disorder because of the stereotypes perpetuated and people's general lack of real understanding of mental illness.  I could see it being hard for someone without the illness to understand if their friend was manic and doing some things she wouldn't have otherwise or even if the friend was depressed and withdrawing.  So, I can't say it'd be uncommon for there to be some hurdles people would have to overcome in their relationships, friendships, and family due to the disorder.

I don't have a good enough grasp to define borderline personality disorder so I will not attempt to describe it for desire not to perpetuate any stereotypes.  Keep in mind no one person is going to have every difficulty and a lot of what you hear in the news media or from the grapevine tend to be stereotypes.