I have schizoaffective disorder and just had two long manic episodes back to back. Now I'm tired, weepy, scared, and feel like crawling into a hole and dying. Plus when I'm really tired my tardive is worse and I feel grotesque, and can't show my face in public. My doctor told me my brain needs to "reset" and I should spend the weekend resting and sleeping. I've been doing that all week. I feel so stupid and worthless.The mania was getting really destructive, but I miss it. I want to just disappear.