Deck the halls with?

[monkeyc]

Ok so Christmas ***** for me, Its a day that I hate not least because Ilost my mother on Dec22nd but also because of all the fake cheerfulness and good will toward men stuff - the bee cheerful or shut up attitude that pervades.

Suddenly people you cannot stand buy you presents and you have to smile and be nice, work christmas parties are the 10th circle of hell where people you have to work with are now people who get drunk and insist on talking to you (And living in Australia where binge drinking is a national pastime this is a big thing trust me) and generally its rather miserable.

So how do you handle christmas?  Im not feeling great right now so I am alternating between curling into a ball until its over or just bearing with the fake good will.

Whats christmas like for you ?  Surely I am not the only BP who wants to avoid it and gets depressed by it?

[LetaB]

  All we can do for sure is build a wall of peace around ourselves before we see our kin. Know what might be said and how you will stay cool anyway. In my family I have born again missionaries, agnostics, Catholics, and die hard athiests. There were days when we were trying to enlighten each other or save each other from hell. I guess we're just older now. There's so many of us with aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins that there are people to switch conversations with or who'll help in changing topics. One thing my family DOES have is a sense of humor. Maybe that's the key.

[ILADVOCATE]

It all makes sense. But then how can a person then take that charitable spirit home and not have family conflicts on Christmas? Not so much that they won't occur but how to prevent them from spiraling out of control? How can people's families unite on a holiday they are supposed to and not feel antagonistic. Because I've been to a variety of events for Christmas and other holidays (we all posted about Thanksgiving) and seen it happen over and over. If everyone feels charitable then surely its a time for all of us to be supportive of each other? Why doesn't it work out that way? And how could that be changed?

[LetaB]

  That is exactly what I have been preaching in far less eloquent fashion. You don't have to go to Africa to find those far less well off than you are. Oportunities are there and your local charities and nursing homes will be happy to have you contribute - in a hands on way. If not call the churches. They may have avenues for you to give of yourself. I still have children at home and am moving but I do find time to sing in a group that raises money for food shelves. It's not that I think any of you aren't contributing to society it's just that a few of you seem to see things so small and dark and I think this sort of therapy would help YOU!

[mommy52]

When I am feeling "down", I try to go out and visit. Not that I want to bring those in the nursing home down, but while I am there I see a different scene. There a lady slumped in her W/C. You gently help her straighten up. She gives you a smile and thanks you. Another is slowly moving his W/C down to his room. A gentle move from me and a brief conversation again brings a smile to his face. As I encounter each one I tell them hello, smile and I love them. I saw patients as a hospice nurse in this facility when I was working. I get and give hugs. So what if their hands are dirty, I'll wash them. If their clothes have food on them, I can wash mine. What I am trying to say is when I takw the focus off of myself and put it on others, I feel less depressed. Some of these do not have family/friends that visit. When I go, I thought I was helping them when in reality, I am the one that is helped. Please take no offense. Spread some love and cheer. So many out in the world are lonely like some of us. Be a friend. Blessings.  Madlyn

[ILADVOCATE]

Actually I experienced some mood stabilization with the Tenex even though its primary purpose was for controlling dystonic spasms (its clinically related to Clonidine which is used off label as a mood stabilizer so its not surprising). I didn't realize that some of the hatred and hostility I experienced was from an agitated mixed state and I feel bad having driven friends and family away. I am being more supportive of my mother with her own recovery now and a friend of mine (who is Jewish and celebrates Hanukah) recieved a gift I ordered for him today and was happy about that and another friend of mine who celebrates Christmas will recieve his sometime around then. And perhaps in a matter of weeks I will be able to get out and about physically a bit but even if not I don't have feelings of animosity that brought me close to the brink. But knowing that others do I did a journal entry on that because I know for many people it can be a difficult time of year.

[GeorgiaAnnie]

So I'm manic....