Any advice?

[ManicBritish]

I was diagnosed with bipolar years ago but have been living in denial since then.  Today is the first day of me excepting my diagnosis and the first day on a low anti-depressive (never taken tablets before).  I'm worried about what the future may hold and if I am doing the right thing taking the advice of the doctor and family/friends, as much as I know they want what is best for me, I also know they do not truly understand how I feel.  Can you give me any advice on my first day of excepting the bipolar?  

[2crazy]

Just saw the original post date, LOL.   Guess welcoming you to the site is a little late.  :D  I hope your treatment is going well...  

[2crazy]

Hi...  Accepting your illness is the best thing you can do.  I wouldn't believe that I was bipolar in spite of my friends, my Dr. and my therapist were telling me.  I knew I had problems, but just wouldn't accept the bipolar Dx.  Once I did, I could develop a treatment plan with my PDoc and Therapist that was focused on truly managing the illness.  And as far as a treatment plan, I believe it is a dual process.  A good PDoc to manage the Rx and a good Therapist to help you deal with the emotional side. My Therapist has helped me realize a lot of things that can trigger an episode so I can proactively respond instead of waiting until it's full blown then trying to recover.  She has also helped me deal with a lot of the 'baggage' that goes along with being Bipolar.   I would also recommend not using a GP to handle the meds.  GP are focused on, well General issues.  You wouldn't want your GP to remove your gall bladder, you'd go to a surgeon who has a lot of specialized experience.  It's the same treating Bipolar.  And if you don't like your PDoc, keep looking.   Different PDocs treat the illness in different ways... find one that suits your particular needs.   The same with a Therapist. You might have to try several different ones before you find the right fit, but having that fit can go a long way to successful treatment.  

It's good you've finally accepted your Dx.  Embrace it for what it is.  Knowing the root cause of your illness helps you to have an appropriate treatment plan.  It also explains a lot of things you may not have been able to understand.  

Welcome to the site.  I think you will find it to be educational and supportive.  

[Anneinside]

It is great that you have accepted (not except - means excluding, the opposite of what you intended to say) that you have bipolar and will need help with it.

[ILADVOCATE]

   Yes see if you are eligible for Medicaid or if you are working and your state has it the Medicaid Buy in for Working People with Disabilities. If you need assistance right away you could go to a walk in clinic at a hospital where you could be eligible for emergency Medicaid that could transition into standard Medicaid.

[motorgearhead]

Hi I m bp and been with no meds cant afford docter visits or meds what can i do im really bad and having bad anxiety attacks and mood swings wife cant handle it anymore i need help were can i go to git help that wont leave us broke

[bernie40]

Completely normal.  It is very very common for us to stop our meds when we are on a high.  We feel so good that we convince ourselves that we must be better and that it wasn't BP afterall.  I've done that so many times its just not funny - invariably after a high comes a crash.  Hopefully if the meds are working correctly then we don't get too high or too low and remain at a fairly level place.

I'm sure my life would be easier if I didn't constantly fight myself but I think that's just part of my personality.  

The key is to stay on the meds and be aware of triggers and symptoms so that if there are changes in mood you can either anticipate them or recognise if they are not "normal" mood swings.

I do feel a bit of a hypocrite at times because I rarely follow my own advice even though I know it would be better for me if I did.  On the meds front though I am sticking to my own advice.  I keep a mood tracker and a journal and I have a list of warning signs pinned to my fridge door!  I've learned which triggers I can avoid and how to lessen the effects of those that I can't.  Its not perfect and it doesn't always work but I hang on to the days when it does ;-)

[ManicBritish]

Wow..it is great to hear someone else say that, I feel like I have lost a big chunk of my life and thought it was just me.  I think my biggest struggle will always be myself as well, today I except the BP, next week who knows.

I find it hard to except the BP when I am on a high, mainly because I enjoy the highs, is this normal?

[bernie40]

Phew!  I'm glad you're on an MS also.  I hope you manage to get a referral to a more understanding and helpful psych this time round.

I'm not sure if it gets easier to accept or not - I'm one of those people that is constantly battling against myself :-s  

I think once the depression had lifted I did feel a whole lot better about everything - its all a bit of a fog to me now and I've lost a big chunk of my life from when I was deeply depressed.  

[ManicBritish]

Thanks very much for the advice, I am on Lamotrigine (which is the mood stabilizer) and a very low dosage of Citalopram (anti-depressive) , if thats any help.
I did see a psychiatrist for just over a year but found her to be of no use and frustrating, although since I said I would except the GPs help I am in the middle of being referred to a new one.
I will have a look at the pages you suggested, am sure as time goes on and the tablets take effect it will get easier to except BP, at least I hope it will.

Thanks again much appreciated. :)

[bernie40]

Hi, welcome to the site.  First off I would advise that you really need a psychiatrist to manage your bipolar alongside your GP.  I expect your GP has already made the referrals if you aren't already seeing one.  Anti-depressives on their own are not usually prescribed as they can cause mania or mixed state episodes in people with BP.  Not always, but more often than not.  A mood stabilizer is needed to control the mood swings and then an anti-depressant can be taken alongside it if required.

I would advise that you keep a mood tracker so you can spot any adverse reactions to the anti-depressant.  As I said, it may be that you are ok with it but its worth having all the facts.

If you click on the health pages link at the top of the page you will find a link to "useful webistes for bipolar and depression" - these sites are worth visiting for good advice on what is availabe medication wise and what to expect.

Its a rocky old road this BP - I personally find that alongside my medications having a support network is very important to me.  When I finally accepted that I had BP I didn't feel any sense of relief but I did feel a sense of loss, I was also very scared about what the future held.  These are normal feelings and its taken time to learn about who I am - most importantly to recognise that I am me regardless of the BP.

Welcome to the site, I'm sure others will be happy to share their stories with you also.