Bipolar boyfriend

[NGirl1986]

Hi,
the more i read about bipolar, the more it makes sense to me as i can clearly see my bf is suffering from it. some days he his high phase where he is extra positive about life and then others where he would think of him as a useless burden.. i am going through alot on my personal front and its making it difficult to cope up with problems from his side too... i know if i tell him to go to the doc and seek medical help he will get mad .. i dont know how else to approach this issue.

[Bubulous]

Hi and welcome to the forum,

I would be carefull about diagnosing him but you likely have a reason for concern.  I am sending you a message.

[Kaneda2112]

I'd be cautious about labelling anyone with the bipolar disorder diagnosis. My brother is a sufferer of bipolar disorder and it is a debilitating condition. The symptoms on most web pages cover a huge spectrum.

According to the web site produced by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) -

"Many factors are involved in diagnosing bipolar disorder. The health care provider may do some or all of the following:

- Ask about your family medical history, such as whether anyone has or had bipolar disorder
- Ask about your recent mood swings and for how long you've had them
- Perform a thorough examination to look for illnesses that may be causing the symptoms
- Run laboratory tests to check for thyroid problems or drug levels
- Talk to your family members about your behavior
- Take a medical history, including any medical problems you have and any medications you take
- Watch your behavior and mood

Note: Drug use may cause some symptoms. However, it does not rule out bipolar affective disorder. Drug abuse may be a symptom of bipolar disorder."

[looloo141]

Hi, I can understand how concerned you are, what does your boyfriend say when you suggest seeing the doctor? is he scared? or does he think that there is nothing wrong with him? It is common for people suffering with mental health problems to underestimate their illness. Although I think men are particularly awkward LOL no offence guys but some of you really struggle with talking about emotions, feelings and being unwell.
I think you are going to have to gently nudge him into going to see a doctor, don't push too hard, but it sounds like he needs lots of persuasion, try to explain that once he gets the right treatment he could feel so much better, mental illness is just the same as a physical illness, just as important, it is not a weakness.
I think you need to remember yourself in all of this too, like you said you are feeling quite stressed, and you could tell him that you need him too, and if either of you don't look after yourselves you won't be any good to eachother!
Please keep us posted and take care!

[oakleaf608]

I can say after living for over a year with a bipolar boyfriend and you need to make it his idea. When my ex started acting strange i actually asked his mother if he had ever been diagnosed and she said yes.  it very much irritated me that my boyfriend never told me!  but I just asked him if he felt that his ups and downs were normal?  does he think he feels and his mind works the same as everyone else?  when he said no, i said ok then don't you think you'll feel better if you go see a dr.?  his answer was yes.....so there you go....make it his idea.  ( this was one of the few things we never fought about and I think its because i didn't push, let him make the decision)

[looloo141]

I totally agree oakleaf608, very good tactics! The things we have to do for men :))) LOL