I still think like this sometimes. Now that I'm on an antidepressant, for months and months at a time feel completely great and stable. It's during those stable times that I sometimes almost convince myself that maybe it was all in my head. But then things like this past Friday happen, where I drink 2 cups of coffee and start feeling hypomanic. It brings you back to the reality that for some of us, our moods are a little bit more sensitive, more volatile, and more easily affected by external stimuli. For me anyway, the best has been to just try and accept it.
Well, I'm 42 and have never taken meds for bipolar, though my addiction to opiates kept it manageable. I can't go there anymore. Over the years, I thought I was an eccentric artist, a border line genius, a missionary, I always explained it away. Today, I feel totally fine, so I start to think I can control it, but deep down, I know it will happen again. If you hang around, I'll let you know how the amino acid therapy and cognitive therapy work for me. If you have never done anything about it, I would start by eating clean, avoiding caffeine and corn syrup, exercise regularly, and get as healthy as you can. I have found that has helped me some, I don't know drugs yet, but have a feeling I will be going in that direction soon. I have people who depend on me, I have to balance out. I wish you the best and hope you stick around, I need all the friends I can get.
I'm pretty much in the same boat. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety a few years ago and bipolar disorder a little over a year ago. My mom has been telling me for years that I have bipolar disorder but of course I didn't want to listen to her.
I wrote in my journal about this, first thing this morning. It's the great obsession of addicts to drink and use like normal people. I feel the same about bipolar. I keep holding onto this idea that I can deal with my moods like normal people. Then I wonder if I am always cycling, just mild cycles are what I call stable. I am accepting my bipolar, mostly because my family tells me that I am bipolar. My wife says that it was hard on her, especially when she didn't know about my bipolar. She said I seem posessed at times. Anyway, I have been trying to deny it for many years.