Have entered Hawaii Ironman 70.3 just to show bipolar people can do anything :0)

[BP2PROFESSIONAL]

Here's hoping I go ok :0)

[cowgirlnerd]

Excellent!  Good luck!

[run4you]

You're giving me the motivation I desperately needed to get going again...

When is the race?

[heidchen]

Good for you!  I've been doing triathlons for about 8 years now and have had to do a couple with my moods going haywire.  Nothing you can't do/finish, even when you're not feeling well.  Maybe you'll even get lucky and catch raceday when you are manic!

[BP2PROFESSIONAL]

Yep, not going to be easy, but still doesn't mean it can't be done.

I went out and partied hard on Saturday night after selling my house, really hung over, have my first triathlon this weekend coming up, only managed to get out training today.  

Looks like its gonna be rock n roll.

Hawaii Race is on June 4th next year, I think I'll keep this post open and keep adding to it as we count down to the race.

I'm no super athlete either, I currently weigh about 104kg, have a bit of a beer gut, a sore foot which I'm trying to hold together, but still no reason as to why it can't be done.  Swim training tomorrow night :)

[BP2PROFESSIONAL]

Ok went to the Radiologist last week, apparently I've tenosynovitis in my posterior tibialis tendon.  Which means swelling and fluid in the sheath of the tendon in my foot and part of my leg. ouch. Doc suggested anti inflammatories to get me through the race and then get a steroid injection in my tendon next week. Double ouch.  The recent genetic test I did to help work out why I flipped out so much on Endep (my body doesn't metabolise it very well so it just builds up in my system and gives me all the side effects, namely launching me into hypomania) also said something about me having to be careful with antiinflammatories, which on checking turned out to be true.  So I spoke to my psychiatrist who rang the testing agency and they suggested a different one for me Meloxican from a result of that genetic test.  I'm so glad I've had that done, it certainly is giving me a bit more confidence.  Anyway had my race on the weekend, I race in the clydesdale category which is for people heavier than 95kg.  The swim went pretty well, I was able to get under 10 mins for 500m, had a bit of a problem with my first transition couldn't get my foot in the tri shoes and then when I finally did and started to ride the bike I noticed I had somehow twisted my bike steering.  So I had to stop straighten it then of again.  Well I decided I might as well give my tri bars a go as their was a bit of a headwind, think it made all the difference ended up coming in around 40 mins on the bike for 20km and then finished up with a run I took pretty easy because of my foot and did 5km in about 30 mins.  All up I was about 1 hour and 22 minutes. Which I thought was a bit slow (it is really) but it seems a lot of the other clydesdale can't get down on their tri bars and I ended up coming 13th overall in my category in the provisional timing. Think that might be a trick I need to work on for the next races.5 more in the season.

I was pretty tired after the race, had a few beers, thankfully the coach was good enough to send me home from the pub as he noticed how exhausted I was and was keeping an eye on me for things like that to avoid triggering depression. Bless him I couldn't sleep though at all, sore muscles, I took some paracetamol but that wasn't doing anything, I've run out of my melatonin drops which I normally use to help get to sleep so in the end I had a Xanax.

Woke up like the dead as you do after Xanax, went to work managed to get their on time catching public transport. Fatigue had kicked in pretty well by then, I'm just temping at the moment doing data entry and can listen to some music on my iphone as I do it.  Had a bit of a depressed, tired cry at work (you know what its like some days), but managed to get through the day. I get like this (exhausted and depressed) a bit after a race for the next couple of days, the running high is great though on race day.  Anyway after work went for a 2km swim down at the pool.  Felt much better after the swim really helps centre me.  My foots not too bad, I think the swim helped with that also.  Still having trouble sleeping so I've taken another Xanax tonight, but I'll need to make sure I don't have one tomorrow otherwise it will be the Xanax keeping me awake.  Now the race is over I need to kick back into the protein diet again to try and lose some more weight before the next race.

The journey continues :0)

[BP2PROFESSIONAL]

Bit of a setback, looks like its going to be a comeback race, ended up seperating with my wife Sarah.  No-one did anything wrong and we both worked at it from day one to the last day.  Good news is I'm feeling much better for it and we look to be separating on good terms. Might even hopefully still be friends (looks likely).

Have ordered a motivation "Awesomeness" Poster to keep myself positive and focussed.

Also have been using mindfullness technique to maintain positive and present in one conscience while observing my body grieve in another conscience.  Getting very good at it.  Had to hyperfocus fully into positive and present conscience as I've been suffering really bad anxiety, particularly at night.  Think this is due to as I fall asleep I lose my second mindfullness conscience and get the full blown whack of anxiety from the first.

Had been taking Xanax but I've had some awful withdrawals as I got addicted to it a couple of years ago but hey, medication as needed is my philosophy.  I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul with the Xanax to help me get to sleep and then getting up and sweating it out later in the day at training.  Hard work though, but is working.

Tried using a stilnox instead to avoid the withdrawals. Bad idea, as I was staying in the positive conscience with the "mindfullness" technique the Stillnox made it harder to concentrate and as I had nothing for Anxiety I copped the full whack of anxiety.  I was worried about mixing Xanax and Stillnox together and so put myself into a state of hyperfocus completely in the positive present happy conscience I created in my mind using the mindfullness technique.  By hyperfocussing I was able to completely ignore the other Anxious conscience and it simply disappeared as well as nullified the effect of the Stillnox, it was as if I hadn't even had it.  Stayed in this state for a period of 4 hours (to allow for drug metabolisation) and then when I thought it would be ok to take Xanax took it and then remained in hyperfocus positive state until Xanax had kicked in and removed the anxiety.

Looking at using this mindfullness technique when racing as I can essentially create any type of conscience state I like now and stay there given the right conditions.  Need to keep training for it though.  But hey they say these Ironman Races are all just mental strength so should be fine now worries :0)