Healthy Bipolar

[CRSeaside]

When I first was diagnosed, I looked around & said,"well everyone is bipolar.
They just go go go & then come down with the flu or an ailment .".
    Personally I had manic episodes on meds. And off meds. So one does begin to wonder what to do to be a healthy bipolar. Now my Pdoc is leaning toward  a bad case of Attention Deficit.
      How do you be a Healthy Bipolar?
    For me it's surround yourself with people who understand you. Get more fresh air & clean water.
  Be aware of the isolation problem. Remember how you feel is in your head.

[weaver71]

I know, I could tell. I felt a little guilty for throwing out my ideas on that subject. I usually don't like to talk about certain things, until I sense someone is ready to focus on something. The web makes that a hard call. I like the focus on the party, I am so jealous. I'll play some Cumbias, Los Lonely Boys, so I can join in the vibe, even if I can't be there in the flesh for our celebration of living through this far. WooHoo, we lived another year. I never thought I would live to be this old, until I got this old, so things are working out way better than I a had expected.

[CRSeaside]

Right now I'm listening to Steely Dan

[CRSeaside]

Thank you for the follow-up eml last nite.
   I was hurtin for certain.

[CRSeaside]

Good question. The Ticos like Cumbias. I have a DVD I'll look for& cue up.
  I have the iPod in the upstairs hse. I'll get ready Los Lonely Boys. They sing in English & Spanish.
  By the pool ... Maybe the radio.

[weaver71]

I am sorry, I know my thoughts on this subject didn't help and likely made you think too much about things at the wrong time. It's almost our birthday, we earth/air cusp survivors are a really unique bunch. My best friend has the same birthday as me too, it's pretty amazing how much those of us born between the stars have in common. In light of that, lets focus on the intensity of what we do have. We may not have a specific astrological sign, but we have each other. Together, all things are possible. What song will you play at the party that will cause the most pelvis action? I mean, music controls the mood of all those in the air around it, so what is going to set the mood?

[CRSeaside]

The bipolar down time I blame on an unhealthy attitude regarding marital sex.
  The mania starts with obsessing how in the world I could survive a 20 year marriage without human contact.
   I have nothing to compare it to, as I wasn't feeling any real symptoms of bipolar as a single person.
  On the outside no one sees or cares about my point of view. Long time friends & family see the husband as a decent provider. When I'm so far gone I'm hospitalized he makes all the outside efforts to look good. Comes to see me in hospital daily. Expresses his concern to others regarding my mental health.
  But love should be more than that. And now that I'm full blown Bipolar I blame my lifestyle.
  When I've tried to make adjustments, they've all turned bad. Black mania. Mixed states.wanting to die.  Failing to care for myself.
  Husband works in China. I'm on my own way too much. Last year & year before saw him 3-4 months out of the year.
   My support group buds are facing big trouble. Like no work. On government assistance. Free medical care. Free outpatient hospital for as long as they choose. They see me and do not identify.
  Because I don't live in a half way house or am not in a gang or mixed up in home violence they do not relate.
    Living healthy bipolar or not, for me entails complete ing goals. Setting more goals. Loving & being loved. Having the opportunity to see the sunset.
  Giving my time energy and what I have to the needy.
  Believing that even if no one loves or understands me that there is a God who wants me to be happy & who loves me.
  Now I'm crying.

[weaver71]

I think that anything that frustrates me continually, becomes a circular thought in mania. When I didn't have a healthy sexual relationship, I had compulsive thoughts and behaviors around sex. My mind races and obsesses, usually on things that bother me. Corruption and injustice are the big ones, greed and classism, but real human needs, like sexual frustrations, fear of losing my home, or not having enough food to feed my kids, those are the issues that really tend to overwhelm me. I wonder if your situation is not channeling your mind into the direction it goes, lack of feeling satisfaction is a huge trigger for me. Whether it be sex, work, family life, if I feel frustrated with anything, that is what my mind will obsess on. What do you think? Is it unhealthy bipolar that is frustrated about sex, or is frustration toward your sexual life that is causing unhealthy bipolar?

[Bubulous]

The only time in my life I have been a healthy bipolar without meds was when I was teaching martial arts.  I do become bored easily and crave the stimulation that keeps me in a hypo state.  There are always two ways to do this.
One way is to do the right thing.  Exercise, social bonds, and challenges.
The other is doing the wrong thing.  Being an addict, searching for pills, and doing the reckless things it takes to be a good addict.
I know now that I can follow the light or follow the dark but to be happy I have to fully dive into whichever side I choose.
I choose the light :)

[CRSeaside]

I get trapped in the sexual mania. It's hard to be a healthy bipolar and just a sensual being. I get a little & then it's life or death if I don't have more, more , more. I become so intensely related to my sexuality that water,food, sleep- none of it matter to me.
   I'm lucky I went to Christian school. The tribal leaders teach restraint.
But like you said... For non BP people it's just a matter of disciplining your thoughts to rein in the desires. I was never a tribesman. Always heard the beat of the other drummer.
   I was terrified of marriage. So my all or nothing BP puts me at risk. The depression is caused by the decision to have absolutely nothing. It's not normal. But even Healthy Bipolar can not compare to regular happy people.
  The "regulars" just don't experience the unwavering intensity.
   Someone will accidentally flirt & suddenly I feel they're the answer.
  Being constantly on guard to be a healthy bipolar takes every energy I possess. Then I'm bankrupt.no energy for anything.
  I think some bipolar women shop till they drop. Same thing.

[weaver71]

I think many of us have heard from others, when we say we are bipolar, "Everyone is bipolar, I go through the same things you are describing." My auto response to that now is, "Yeah, bipolar just crank it up to 11." There is a difference in feeling sad for the starving people in Africa, and being tormented by it. There is a difference in feeling confident and feeling invincible. Most people can turn it off, like I have seen people at a funeral who had to do paperwork, I watched them close their eyes, stop crying, shake their head a little and did what had to be done. One of the things that makes me bipolar, is I can't do that. I can't set my mood aside for a minute, to do anything. I would drip tears on the paperwork, possibly throw the pen, I might just tell the mortician where he can shove his paperwork. These are all things people might think, but I do whatever I think sometimes. Anyway, just like people have to adapt the the range of emotions they have, a bipolar has a much larger range to manage. I don't think all bipolar can manage, without medication. If I was hallucinating walls of fire and dragons trying to eat me, well I don't think I could just channel my thoughts and say, "Good dragon, that's a good boy!" and make a new friend, by diverting my thoughts, though anything is possible.

So, that is when I decided that my bipolar is fine, so long as I don't hurt me or anyone else. Feeling like the world is ending hurts me, but I am not doing that to myself, that is simply happening to me. Believing I had channeled the heart of Mother Theresa in the streets of Calcutta was not only harmless, but I actually helped people and they helped me. It was genuinely a beautiful bipolar experience. The empathy set in, I felt the pain of every orphan in India, my compassion was overflowing and I was consumed by the depths of despair. I felt justified, actually, I wondered why doesn't everyone care more about the innocent who are oppressed? I was having a full blown bipolar experience, yet even the pain had value and justification. That is how I dealt with life as a young bipolar. Trying to fit in and having kids, I formed a God complex, as if my kids life 100% depended on me. I know that is not true, but that is how I felt.

The process of not allowing my bipolar to express itself is what I think lead to my mixed state and psychotic break. Resistance to my bipolar is futile, it could kill me, but surrendering to it, now, that has made my old perception of myself come back. I feared not fitting in or not providing for my kids enough. Fear was not a good thing to feel in a manic nor depressed state. I had guns to my head, lived in the streets of dangerous neighborhoods, but nothing scared me like being a parent. I finally stopped fearing my bipolar or the life it will create. I do believe my surrender to my moods and the gentle guidance my mind gives them, has been making my cycles really change, but not go away. I do believe it is possible to be a healthy bipolar and am working toward that goal daily. I am open to being delusional, but my progress convinced me, I have to believe, until totally proven otherwise.

[weaver71]

I have been trying to change my brain chemistry with thoughts, rather than chemicals. I am finding progress in my perception and ability to manipulate my thoughts as moods come and go.  I wonder sometimes, if I am simply in a remission that will ultimately pass, or if I am actually finding new ways to cope and express my bipolar. I have given up and have no interest in making the bipolar go away, that would be personality suicide. My mood swings are not going away, but they are gaining purpose and meaning, I suppose it feels like my moods have direction and I am not so afraid of them. My thoughts are what guide my moods, no matter what mood I am in. This has been hard to do, but is it possible, am I becoming a healthy bipolar?