I HATE being medicated!!!

[BeeKeeper]

No question...just a rant because I'm about to explode.  Do to travel over the past couple of days I missed taking two night time doses of Lithium.  I'm always hoping that someday the illness and need for meds to be "normal" will go away.  I keep hoping my dependancy on meds will go away.

So now I'm sitting here in my office trying to look and sound normal while my hands shake, thoughts are running in my head like a drag race, and I feel like I'm going insane and just want to scream...run through a window...beat my head on a table....something to make it all stop!   ....but here I sit smiling at people who have no idea the storm I'm trying to contain inside.

The price i pay for missing a dose of pills I hate to take...pills to make me normal for everyone top tolerate me...pills to help me tolerate myself.  This is going to be a long day....

[BatFat]

I HATE LITHIUM!  I'm struggling trying to taper off.  I want off cos it's ruining my dexterity and imagination.  I'm a bass player and can't do music & kick *** heavy metal when I'm poisoned by lithium carbonate.  I hate being medicated!  Big Pharma and their stupid conspiracies...  God help us all!!!

[blackcat111]

i too hate taking medication. i was on lithium for two years and i got off of it two months ago. it took me six months to taper off of it. it was hell on earth. i ended up in hospital. i decieded to get off of the the lithium because of the side effects.it made my hair very dry and briitle and broke off. be carefull of this drug. so now they have uped my seroquel, i take 450mg of seroquel XR at 8pm the at 9.30pm take 300 normal seroquel. its such a high dose but it is helping. i get the worst depresive lows and it is helping abit. i also take lexapro 20mg in the morning. i can understand how you feel about taking meds to seem normal to other people.its not fair no one can understand what its like. just imagine if the roles were reversed and the "so called normal people" had to take drugs, and we were the normal ones. just a funny thought that poped into my mind. anyway i hope you feel better soon

[BeeKeeper]

Yeah...triggers.  I have the same reactions going into a manic state...shaking, seeing things, wicked nightmares, tons of energy, crazy ideas that seem sane in the moment.  When i lived in milwaukee - up until a month or so back - I would go down to Evanston, lincoln Park and chicago and truly just be lost.  It's a good city to be lost in.

[savdylthom]

Ah. You sound just like me. I missed my Klonipin for 2 days, and my abilify for one. It was just hell. I was having full body flashbacks. Shaking so hard I spilled and nearly cracked my makeup all over my friends bathroom. I had to go outside and just hang on too the stairwell and run out of their courtyard. Something about the triggers. They were talking about something that was triggering, and I smelled something as well. All of a sudden, no feeling from the neck down. I hate having this "illness" I am not ill. I just want it all to be over. I felt so bad, they had no idea why I was so frantic. They are not dependant on anything!

[schizofriendia]

The side effects should abate within a couple of weeks or so, provided you can deal with them.

[DavidinLexington]

Yes.  It sounds awful.  I just got over a manic episode and my temper is still really bad and I understand.  I wish you well.

[Amy4891]

I feel you these antipsychotics they are putting me on are making me sick. One makes me sick so they put me on a new one then the new one makes me sick, and so on tried 5 of them now. Got frustrated so I just quit taking them, and still sick.

[BeeKeeper]

...and the day gets better!!!  Doc calls and says the results of the biopsy from last week are atypical-severe for some melanoma and I need immediate surgery.  One way or another my body is determined to implode.  I just wish that would happen sooner than later.  This waiting around crap is getting old.