I don't seem to understand when poeple joke

[freddie8605]

I don't know if this is the right place to put this question so any suggestions on where i should put it would be good.

I have problems understanding others joking or sarcasm. They will say something like man that's funny, when it was serious and i don't pick up on it being a joke and take offense and try and tell them it is not funny. This happens often and i don't understand why i don't pick up on it and others do, it feels like i am missing it and poeple tell me i take things to seriously but it happens even when i am manic and I am joking myself about everything and don't take much seriously. I can make jokes which i know are jokes and others know i am joking. People often laugh at me and when i ask why they are laughing they say that i am being funny but i wasn't trying to be funny. When i ask what is it about me that is funny they just say the way you act and just the way you are. I don't like it, it would be fine if i was trying to be funny but i am not. I don't think if myself as weird or different, so what could be so funny about me?
Why can i not pick up on peoples joke or sayings or sarcasm? Do you get that as well? do you think it is part of bipolar, my personality or something else? any ideas on how i can stop being so thick and can understand a joke?

[lilsammywinchester]

i find it scary how similar your situation is to mine! I have bipolar and by no means am stupid, but I can't catch sarcasm or jokes and accidentally offend those who are trying to be funny. (aka discovered how hard it was once i left high school) I personally think it's because of the facial expression theory. If someone over exaggerates their voice for me, I can catch sarcasm or jokes, but if I don't know them well or I can't tell by voice....I definitely cannot tell by their facial expression.

[lindahand]

People will laugh at the way I say things too sometimes. I don't take it personally though I do find it annoying.

As for the joke thing I would just assume it is a joke. That way you won't have to get into the annoyance factor and you can feel better about things. If someone is insulting you and doesn't have the balls to come out and say it - they are a coward. Laughing the comment off is the best medicine. If they meant it seriously they will stew because you took it as a joke. Sarcasm is a slow poison. I am sorry you have people in your life that resort to that. The best revenge is to be happy despite what they say.

[freddie8605]

You do make some interesting points so thanks you for commenting.

My jokes aren't really jokes in the sense i am not trying to be funny, its just that people always find, what i do, or the way i act, or say funny and laugh. it hurts because i am not meaning to be funny, i am just being me, I have a minor speech problem and can't pronounce some words properly( never have been able to even though seeing a speech therapist when younger), poeple laugh at that, and i don't get why, also me just being me and doing what ever or talking and people think i am weird and funny but i don't think i am as i am just being me, then when others make jokes mainly sarcasm  i don't take it as a joke and start asking why they think its funny or that was a weird thing to say, then they say they were joking but i can't tell that they were "joking" before they tell me.

I think it could be an aspect of both of your comments, do you know anyway i can get better at realizing its a joke, I don't think i can change the other poeple who laugh at me for being me but think i am trying to be funny but I'm not. But whats your ideas?

Thanks
Freddie

[Xila31]

I don't know if this is a bipolar issue or not.

I know that all people have the "not me but you" theory. As in, when you see a public service announcement saying "Smoking kills" something inside your head says, "Yes, smoking is very bad for other people, but not me." (this is just an example, we do it with all types of things.)

It is the same with jokes. Your joke about something may be funny, but you don't think other people's jokes about certain topics are funny. Another example "Bill" likes to tell blond jokes, but "Sue" is blond so she doesn't think they are funny and gets offended. But "Sue" likes to tell lawyer jokes and "Bill" is a lawyer so he doesn't think it's funny and gets offended. Do you see? It's, I can joke about you but don't you dare joke about me. All people have this to some degree.

So something you take seriously others may not and make jokes about it, or when you say something about it they laugh because they don't take that seriously. This is just a suggestion.

Another suggestion is that there was a study done a few years ago about how bipolar people do not always make the correct judement on facial expressions as other people. This study was primarily done on teenagers with bipolar. They would show them facial expressions and have them rate the expression as positive, negative, neutral, or hostile. (or something like that.) Anyway, the non-bipolar teens were able to rate neutral faces as neutral. But the bipolar teens rated the neutral faces as hostile.

So perhaps there is a possibility that with bipolar we do not pick up on the correct body language, tone, or facial cues that other people do. But this is just a theory in my opinion and not a fact.