my psychiatrist diagnosed me over 3 yrs ago with bipolar1 disorder w/mixed episodes and panic/anxiety disorder.I've pretty much had this condition since I was a teen and i'm now 35. I haven't had an episode in over 9 mths. My doctor recently changed my mood stabilizer to Lithium. I am wondering if it is possible for the lithium to have made me rage worse or possibly caused me to have an episode. We went on a vacation a month ago and it was awful, i ruined it pretty much. Everything and anything would just set me off to a rage and I am scared b/c i can control my episodes most of the time or avoid them completely. Now, since last week i have been in a severe depression and cant pull myself out of it. I cant get all the bad thoughts out of my head and it scares me. i dont even understand where these thoughts are coming from, but they are worse than i've ever had before. I am just TIRED...tired of everything.nothing makes me happy anymore and it seems like my family just doesnt care. Could the Lithium have somehow made my episode this severe or could it have built up from me trying to control them? Please give me some advice. I'm just so tired of dealing with this condition and not sure if i want to anymore.