Who do I tell,,,how do I deal with being diagnosed?

[rogelio63]

Hi everyone,
I've been in denial for a long time.  But events over the last few days caused me to go back to my Psych NP that I love,  and admit that I had gone off the meds she wrote for, after breaking a self checkout screen with my fist at Walmart and getting banned from ever coming back, buying and destroying $200 worth of sex toys, buying underwear everytime I went to a store, and telling my boss off,  I guess I need to accept this.  It's very hard,,but I don't want to commit suicide.  I'd rather take the medicine, go to some support groups and learn as much as I can about this.
How do you decide who to tell?  I don't know if I can tell my extended family, my parents.  My friends may understand.  I know I'll get the "look".  People will watch me to see if I'm crazy,,I'm rambling,,I'd take the ativan they gave me if I was sure it wouldn't knock me flat while I'm at work,,,

[rogelio63]

that's ok.  I know how my parents would react.  If I've heard my mother say it once, I've heard her say a thousand times, I'm just thankful I have a good mind.  I can imagine the looks I would get.  My brothers,,I have no idea.  We're a very close family but I just don't know.  Saying something is so much worse than getting hit, at least for me anyway.  You can never take it back, and once I said that,,I don't even want to think about it.  
Maybe someday I could tell them.

[Xila31]

This is a hard queston and actually somewhat personal and different for everyone. I told my employer because I do struggle at work. I also told my husband and his mother and brother. I decided not to tell my dad because my dad will not believe me and will not care. He thinks that I am irresponsible and that I lie all the time although I am a very responsible person and I am also a very truthful and loyal person. If I told him about my illness he would just say "we all have problems, why are yours special." I actually would not be surprised that he has something as well. For example, we both have the same horrible cough for many years and the doctors told us it is bronchitis. Well, I learned last year that it is cough variant asthma and now I'm on an inhaler. I told my dad about it because I am sure it is the same for him and he could get releif. Instead he told me that I'm wrong and my step mother rolled her eyes at me, indicating I was lying, even as I showed them my inhaler.

When I was injured on the job several years ago they told me off and told me I was a liar then, too. So, I don't care any more to tell my dad things. Why should I when I know it is just more painful than helpful. If I knew I could count on him for help or love or support in my illness, then I would, but I know it will only hurt me so I don't. I pray I can be high functioning enough for the rest of his life and not require disability because if that happens I will never hear the end of what a worthless person I am.

Anyway, those are my examples. Sorry it sort of blew out of controle >.>

[paranoid_cataclysm]

My current employer for example told me recently she would get "a LOT" of complaints about me before I went to night crew which I didn't bother to ask about (although I think I might because it will probably help to know what I was doing so maybe I can try to stop doing it unless it's something I can't help or whatever) but she never told me unless it was something like where one time someone at a store lied and said I said I was going to kill them.  I explained to her though when I realized how much was really wrong with me that I wasn't aware I had so much trouble working until now and that I was seeking treatment now that I knew it so I should do a lot better soon.  That's another example of when you should tell your employer.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Well this is a tough one really.  You should tell your employer if you need accommodations at work for example to perform your job.  As nice as it would be you can tell your family but they're not always understanding and can even end up making you feel like sh*t for telling them.  It helps out a lot however and usually you can tell family members if they have a mental illness themselves and are aware of it.  If your friends are good enough friends they probably won't care and try to support you and it'll help them understand there's at least a reason behind it if you do something like break a self checkout screen.  I really wish I could go into the past for example and tell all the teachers and such that treated me like trash because they misunderstood me and my legal guardians and myself what is wrong with me so maybe my life would of turned out a lot differently if I was being helped with my mental illness and understood why I was experiencing things no one else I knew at the time experienced that I knew of and such but I guess that will never happen.