Aa
Need encouraging words right now
I am going through a depressive stage of my bipolar 1 disorder. I just went through a manic stage to some degree.
I have contacted my doctor about medication adjustments, of which this is being accomplished. But for now I cry many times a day, out of the blue. I stay busy cleaning my house, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry and organizing, some of the damage I had done recently with shopping. Fortunately I didn't spend an arm and a leg during this period. I went through a period of great irritation and my husband did his best to tolerate me.
Right now I just need some encouraging thoughts by others who understand what it is to be Bipolar. I am trying to stay ahead of this depression downfall so I don't end up hospitalized or worse. Until the medication takes affect, I could use some kind, friendly, sensible advice and encouragement. Anybody out there???? K
I have contacted my doctor about medication adjustments, of which this is being accomplished. But for now I cry many times a day, out of the blue. I stay busy cleaning my house, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry and organizing, some of the damage I had done recently with shopping. Fortunately I didn't spend an arm and a leg during this period. I went through a period of great irritation and my husband did his best to tolerate me.
Right now I just need some encouraging thoughts by others who understand what it is to be Bipolar. I am trying to stay ahead of this depression downfall so I don't end up hospitalized or worse. Until the medication takes affect, I could use some kind, friendly, sensible advice and encouragement. Anybody out there???? K
For sure I will have my own bank account, we have been operating that way for 30yrs now, and even though he doesnt like it, I demand it. My mother didnt have a bank account, and when my father found another women, he took the money out, end of story, left my mother and my brother and I, so my mother always told me to make sure I have my own bank account. My prescriptions are paid in full under my husbands health plan, but I will definately put some aside for clothes and a hair cut etc., and groceries, so that we dont die of scurvey.
His idea is to divide the debits, and since he makes more than I, he would take that percentage of the debit, and I would take the percentage of the balance, which would work out to full payment. It seems fair, but there is just something rubbing me the wrong way about that. I always put away at least 10%, and its gotten us through some very hard times, he doesnt save like that.
As far as the disability goes, it has been a year this month (Nov), that I started with those idiots.
I was approved in the summer by the Ontario Governement, but at that time I was seperated from my husband, so I did qualify, but it worked out to just over 300.00, then when I got back with my husband I didnt qualify anymore, and then this Canada Pension issue started. My GP has told them in so many words that I am in severe pain, I am a threat to myself and others at times, I had 2 attempted suicides, I have severe osteoporosis, and aside from my shoulder, back, and toe (incl fingers), have been broken over the last year, and I have degenerated disks, they keep sending forms. We just sent another medical report with all I noted above, so hopefully that will be the end of the paperwork, now I just have to figure how to open the envelope that tells me how much I am going to get, without my husband seeing - he brings up the mail and when he see's its from the government, he'll hang around for sure.
Oh well, at least I can say my life isnt boring LOL
His idea is to divide the debits, and since he makes more than I, he would take that percentage of the debit, and I would take the percentage of the balance, which would work out to full payment. It seems fair, but there is just something rubbing me the wrong way about that. I always put away at least 10%, and its gotten us through some very hard times, he doesnt save like that.
As far as the disability goes, it has been a year this month (Nov), that I started with those idiots.
I was approved in the summer by the Ontario Governement, but at that time I was seperated from my husband, so I did qualify, but it worked out to just over 300.00, then when I got back with my husband I didnt qualify anymore, and then this Canada Pension issue started. My GP has told them in so many words that I am in severe pain, I am a threat to myself and others at times, I had 2 attempted suicides, I have severe osteoporosis, and aside from my shoulder, back, and toe (incl fingers), have been broken over the last year, and I have degenerated disks, they keep sending forms. We just sent another medical report with all I noted above, so hopefully that will be the end of the paperwork, now I just have to figure how to open the envelope that tells me how much I am going to get, without my husband seeing - he brings up the mail and when he see's its from the government, he'll hang around for sure.
Oh well, at least I can say my life isnt boring LOL
I have the same diag. as you. This is all the more reason I have to watch and control my stress level.
My husband does shop differently than I. He will buy for a few days at a time. I buy for a couple weeks at a time and make up individual meals for that period of time, that actually that extends into three or four weeks of meals. I cannot operate on constantly having to run to the store. Your husband should buy quantities of sale items, and meats and vegetables and starches for longer than just every day. He actually wastes more money shopping this method. Also you don't need the stress of not having food to eat and no way to nourish yourself as needed. This is inhuman treatment of you.
I am on disability. He wanted all my money for himself too. I refused and he has punished me for that decision. But I am getting stronger and decided I don't need him anymore to meet my needs. I will save my money and buy what I need and they will all be my choices, not his.
My husband says he loves me, but at times I question that. I think he likes to rule over me instead. He does what he wants without consideration of me or others. It is fast coming to to bite him in the behind.
When you get your disability, do not turn your money over to him. Or use it to buy groceries and household items. Use that money to buy your medications, doctor appointments, clothing, personal items, and put the rest into a savings or checking account listed in your name only. He can't have access to it unless you let him. That will be your downfall if you do. You need some independence.
Are your doctors personally helping you with getting disability? You need to ask them for their help if they are not already doing so. Don't give up easily. Pester, pester, pester the government until they finally realize you need that disability. You may need to get a lawyer to fight for your disability, but they charge a fee and you may be able to accomplish it on your own first and then all your money will be yours, and no lawyer fees involved. But if you have been struggling for disability for a long time, you may need to consider a lawyer. But check with your doctors first. K
My husband does shop differently than I. He will buy for a few days at a time. I buy for a couple weeks at a time and make up individual meals for that period of time, that actually that extends into three or four weeks of meals. I cannot operate on constantly having to run to the store. Your husband should buy quantities of sale items, and meats and vegetables and starches for longer than just every day. He actually wastes more money shopping this method. Also you don't need the stress of not having food to eat and no way to nourish yourself as needed. This is inhuman treatment of you.
I am on disability. He wanted all my money for himself too. I refused and he has punished me for that decision. But I am getting stronger and decided I don't need him anymore to meet my needs. I will save my money and buy what I need and they will all be my choices, not his.
My husband says he loves me, but at times I question that. I think he likes to rule over me instead. He does what he wants without consideration of me or others. It is fast coming to to bite him in the behind.
When you get your disability, do not turn your money over to him. Or use it to buy groceries and household items. Use that money to buy your medications, doctor appointments, clothing, personal items, and put the rest into a savings or checking account listed in your name only. He can't have access to it unless you let him. That will be your downfall if you do. You need some independence.
Are your doctors personally helping you with getting disability? You need to ask them for their help if they are not already doing so. Don't give up easily. Pester, pester, pester the government until they finally realize you need that disability. You may need to get a lawyer to fight for your disability, but they charge a fee and you may be able to accomplish it on your own first and then all your money will be yours, and no lawyer fees involved. But if you have been struggling for disability for a long time, you may need to consider a lawyer. But check with your doctors first. K
My husband of 26yrs is the same. For example, we have been struggling for over a year now, we lost everything, our home, our dog, and had to declare bankruptcy. We are starting over, but because of my illness, I cannot work, so I have been waiting a year to collect disability, during which time he was the only income earner.
I am not on the bank account, and he takes the car during the day, so if we need something to eat, which we often do, I call him and ask him to pick it up, but his response is - when can I ever come home without having to pick something up. I would do it, but he doesnt set aside a certain amount for food, and basically it is whatever we can afford. Since he is the only one paying the bills and rent, I really feel like a second class citizen sometimes. If I am lucky I squirrel away some money and go to the "Dollar Store".
So, as you can see you are not alone. I am also Bipolar 1, actually my classification is Schzoaffective Disorder, which is primarily Bipolar 1 with a touch of Schzo. So I can relate to having to control your anger, it is an everyday job for me.
At least I know my husband loves me. He is sticking with me through this, and Im sure that is not easy for him, if he wanted he could leave me for another women, and I too would have no income, but he hasnt, and for that I am grateful.
I am not on the bank account, and he takes the car during the day, so if we need something to eat, which we often do, I call him and ask him to pick it up, but his response is - when can I ever come home without having to pick something up. I would do it, but he doesnt set aside a certain amount for food, and basically it is whatever we can afford. Since he is the only one paying the bills and rent, I really feel like a second class citizen sometimes. If I am lucky I squirrel away some money and go to the "Dollar Store".
So, as you can see you are not alone. I am also Bipolar 1, actually my classification is Schzoaffective Disorder, which is primarily Bipolar 1 with a touch of Schzo. So I can relate to having to control your anger, it is an everyday job for me.
At least I know my husband loves me. He is sticking with me through this, and Im sure that is not easy for him, if he wanted he could leave me for another women, and I too would have no income, but he hasnt, and for that I am grateful.
I am still dealing with the depression, frustration, anger, intolerance, and bad mood in general.
I think part of it is that I have had a very difficult time getting my basic needs met without a major fight first. With what little money I have to work with, of my own, I have bought most of the items that have made a home. Yet this is very irritating to my husband. But let me have my clothes on the floor in bags and boxes is fine with him. He has a dresser. It came down to my buying a plastic dresser to get my clothes into something clean and with drawers. When he saw this he literally lost his temper and we got into a huge fight. I can't deal with all the stress this puts me under so I got rid of the "dresser" and my stuff returned to bags on the floor. He finally decided he would buy me a dresser. I simply no longer cared or wanted one. It was all more than I could deal with. He bought the bedroom suit that he liked and wanted, I simply didn't care anymore, and so we now have a nice bedroom and I finally have a dresser. It took me weeks to put any clothes into it. It left a very sour taste in my mouth, as the stress I had to go through left me emotionally void.
We had just gone through years of my trying to get a new mattress and box springs. We had been sleeping on a 50 year old mattress for close to 30 years. This also involved a major fight and I moved to the living room floor. Mentally I went down hill, and though he said he would buy me a mattress, it took him 5 months to make up his mind which one to buy. He didn't like spending the money. However, he doesn't think twice about dropping lots of money on European trips. The whole bedroom didn't even come close to what he would consider nothing to pay for our travels.
After years, he finally agreed to marriage counseling, starting this month. However, my personal counselor recommended that he have individual counseling first. When I told him this, he didn't like the idea and as yet has not made any effort to make an appointment for himself. I sincerely doubt he will follow through with his agreement.
This is an attitude that he has had since we married. I'm the one who is screwed up. I can see why ! Why stay married? Well economically I have nothing to live on. He hates my "nagging" but if anything is to get done around here, I have no choice but to nag. All this is not good for being Bipolar 1. I do everything I can to keep my stress level near normal, but it just is impossible.
While our son visits, our cupboards become bare. He has insisted on controlling all the money, so I gave the shopping all to him to handle. Today I had to "nag" to get some food into the house as there was little to eat. I personally bought groceries to get some food into the house. I cannot afford this myself.
So I go through mood swings I think I don't ordinarily need to deal with. He just doesn't "get it".
So your kind, friendly encouraging words mean a great deal for me while I am dealing with depression. Thanks. K
I think part of it is that I have had a very difficult time getting my basic needs met without a major fight first. With what little money I have to work with, of my own, I have bought most of the items that have made a home. Yet this is very irritating to my husband. But let me have my clothes on the floor in bags and boxes is fine with him. He has a dresser. It came down to my buying a plastic dresser to get my clothes into something clean and with drawers. When he saw this he literally lost his temper and we got into a huge fight. I can't deal with all the stress this puts me under so I got rid of the "dresser" and my stuff returned to bags on the floor. He finally decided he would buy me a dresser. I simply no longer cared or wanted one. It was all more than I could deal with. He bought the bedroom suit that he liked and wanted, I simply didn't care anymore, and so we now have a nice bedroom and I finally have a dresser. It took me weeks to put any clothes into it. It left a very sour taste in my mouth, as the stress I had to go through left me emotionally void.
We had just gone through years of my trying to get a new mattress and box springs. We had been sleeping on a 50 year old mattress for close to 30 years. This also involved a major fight and I moved to the living room floor. Mentally I went down hill, and though he said he would buy me a mattress, it took him 5 months to make up his mind which one to buy. He didn't like spending the money. However, he doesn't think twice about dropping lots of money on European trips. The whole bedroom didn't even come close to what he would consider nothing to pay for our travels.
After years, he finally agreed to marriage counseling, starting this month. However, my personal counselor recommended that he have individual counseling first. When I told him this, he didn't like the idea and as yet has not made any effort to make an appointment for himself. I sincerely doubt he will follow through with his agreement.
This is an attitude that he has had since we married. I'm the one who is screwed up. I can see why ! Why stay married? Well economically I have nothing to live on. He hates my "nagging" but if anything is to get done around here, I have no choice but to nag. All this is not good for being Bipolar 1. I do everything I can to keep my stress level near normal, but it just is impossible.
While our son visits, our cupboards become bare. He has insisted on controlling all the money, so I gave the shopping all to him to handle. Today I had to "nag" to get some food into the house as there was little to eat. I personally bought groceries to get some food into the house. I cannot afford this myself.
So I go through mood swings I think I don't ordinarily need to deal with. He just doesn't "get it".
So your kind, friendly encouraging words mean a great deal for me while I am dealing with depression. Thanks. K
i know everyone here for you. wow i wish i cold fight it like you do. the kids dad is not supportivre like yours... take care.. ang
Recovery can be slow. Sometimes I get frustrated that I'm not getting well fast enough. I feel like alpine mountain climber sometimes. I struggle to get to get to my destination and I look up to find I have a mammoth climb ahead of me. It can be so discouraging and I have done my share of crying but don't give up.
I'm in a song mood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHXoHVLSKSQ&feature=related
I'm in a song mood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHXoHVLSKSQ&feature=related
Thank you for your kind words and advice. I will keep it all in mind. Hopefully this medication will eventually take effect and I will feel much better. My doctor viewed my high feelings and feared for this crash and tried to head it off. The medication is probably working wonders as I haven't yet hit a bottom, but an increase should help.
My son came home from Calif. with pictures of his baby son and that really cheered me up as I haven't seen the baby since he was born. Also good news. They are expecting another baby in May. I plan to go out to greet in this new baby at birth too. I love them all dearly. I love all my children and grandchildren. I love my husband very much. My irritative moods are part of my manic episodes and I could see that I was dealing with being easily frustrated when things didn't go just as I thought they should as well as oncoming depression at that time too. I
Your kindness has been a great help for me. I am starting to feel better and I am getting outdoors as much as possible. I have cleaned and organized nearly everything inside. After my son returns to Calif. I shall start working on the outside.
I know not to watch the news!!!!! They concentrate on all the negative side for news for the most part. I tried to listen to music, but even that irritated the heck out of me. Few radio stations here and all rock n roll. I did find easy listenig and turned it way down, just to break the total silence, and not get irritated with that too. I'm rather short on the leash right now. Things should get better soon. Again thank you ALOT. I NEEDED YOUR SHOT IN THE ARM. Kathy
My son came home from Calif. with pictures of his baby son and that really cheered me up as I haven't seen the baby since he was born. Also good news. They are expecting another baby in May. I plan to go out to greet in this new baby at birth too. I love them all dearly. I love all my children and grandchildren. I love my husband very much. My irritative moods are part of my manic episodes and I could see that I was dealing with being easily frustrated when things didn't go just as I thought they should as well as oncoming depression at that time too. I
Your kindness has been a great help for me. I am starting to feel better and I am getting outdoors as much as possible. I have cleaned and organized nearly everything inside. After my son returns to Calif. I shall start working on the outside.
I know not to watch the news!!!!! They concentrate on all the negative side for news for the most part. I tried to listen to music, but even that irritated the heck out of me. Few radio stations here and all rock n roll. I did find easy listenig and turned it way down, just to break the total silence, and not get irritated with that too. I'm rather short on the leash right now. Things should get better soon. Again thank you ALOT. I NEEDED YOUR SHOT IN THE ARM. Kathy
HVAC excellent list, great ideas. Kathy - even though you just feel like hiding under the sheets for a while, force yourself to get out. Being busy is great, but you need the fresh air to clear your mind - trust me.
Let us know how you are doing, there are a lot of people on this site, that do truly care.
Let us know how you are doing, there are a lot of people on this site, that do truly care.
Distraction is one of my tools. Make a list of simple goals like organize a drawer. Watch a comedy.
I don't fight depression that takes energy I need. I roll with it. I think of it as a wave rolling over me. I have to feel it and come up between waves so the next one does not knock me down.
Tell myself I won't be depressed forever.
I journal.
I stay away from words such as "Always, Never, they, them. These are words that are vague and feed depression.
Sometimes I go where there are people and sit so I am not alone.
You may hate this and do not have to use it a gratitude list.
Mine is: My husband,my pets, my friends by name, music( like all kinds), art, movies ( I like the old ones especially with Cary Grant), my service dog Polly, nature
Know you are not alone,
Alex
I don't fight depression that takes energy I need. I roll with it. I think of it as a wave rolling over me. I have to feel it and come up between waves so the next one does not knock me down.
Tell myself I won't be depressed forever.
I journal.
I stay away from words such as "Always, Never, they, them. These are words that are vague and feed depression.
Sometimes I go where there are people and sit so I am not alone.
You may hate this and do not have to use it a gratitude list.
Mine is: My husband,my pets, my friends by name, music( like all kinds), art, movies ( I like the old ones especially with Cary Grant), my service dog Polly, nature
Know you are not alone,
Alex
I deal with alot of the same issues you do...I listen to soft meditative music like enya and such, it seems to take me away from the negative thoughts that race in my mind.
try not to punish the people you love with displaced anger.....It only makes things worse.
I even sometimes think about the funny retarted things that my friends and I have done through the years.....It's actually uplifting
strecthing exercises also feel very nice...
I'm still trying to find the appropriate medications that will coincide with my system without tons of weight gain and irregular mood changes..believe me I feel like I want to die at least once a day!....
DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS!!!!!!
Lila710
try not to punish the people you love with displaced anger.....It only makes things worse.
I even sometimes think about the funny retarted things that my friends and I have done through the years.....It's actually uplifting
strecthing exercises also feel very nice...
I'm still trying to find the appropriate medications that will coincide with my system without tons of weight gain and irregular mood changes..believe me I feel like I want to die at least once a day!....
DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS!!!!!!
Lila710
I'm here, Kathy!
I know it *****, I hate those depressions. >.<
It sounds like your doing a good job fighting it. You're really getting a lot done. That's a good thing. You know it won't last forever. It never does even though it feels like it. Hey, as long as you keep busy you won't end up in the hospital. You know the enemy of depression is a busy mind, right? So, you're up and moving around, so you're already doing the right thing.
I know it's hard on your husband, but I'm sure he loves you not just tolerates you. I mean, that's what the wedding vows say, good times and bad, sickness and health, right? So, just remember to let him know you love him and appreciate him and that he helps you when you're going through your cycles, and I bet that will lift his spirits, too.
Take care of yoruself, and keep us posted! I'll be happy to hear your meds got sorted out and how you're doing. :D
I know it *****, I hate those depressions. >.<
It sounds like your doing a good job fighting it. You're really getting a lot done. That's a good thing. You know it won't last forever. It never does even though it feels like it. Hey, as long as you keep busy you won't end up in the hospital. You know the enemy of depression is a busy mind, right? So, you're up and moving around, so you're already doing the right thing.
I know it's hard on your husband, but I'm sure he loves you not just tolerates you. I mean, that's what the wedding vows say, good times and bad, sickness and health, right? So, just remember to let him know you love him and appreciate him and that he helps you when you're going through your cycles, and I bet that will lift his spirits, too.
Take care of yoruself, and keep us posted! I'll be happy to hear your meds got sorted out and how you're doing. :D
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