Nothing seems to be working

[braccio]

I've been taking pills for many years , and in the last three years I've tried some new ones--Lamictal, along with my Depakote.  The Geodon I've been on was just increased from 60mg to 120mg.  I tried going off Cymbalta, was on 60mg, tried to go down to 30mg, but felt worse in a couple days.  I really don't know if I gave it enough time to come off that medicine.  I tend to jump to go off pills if they don't seem to be helping me, but I really don't know now.  My doctor has me on so many pills, I don't even know which ones are right for me and which ones I don't really need.  I see him once a month, and he just says that I'm not at the point where I want to be, so he'll increase my meds.  My husband also isn't working right now, so that sort of makes things worse.  At least he's getting unemployment, but I don't work enough hours to keep my mind busy.  Since my doctor increased my Lamictal to 125mg, I've felt in a fog, sort of having delayed responses to everything and feeling stupid.  Tomorrow I start taking 150mg.  I'm getting scared about this, because I figure I'll be even more in a fog.  I spoke with my doctor last week, and he says to give it time.  I'm confused about this, because I just seem to be getting worse.  I just wonder how much I can reallly do for myself instead of taking all of these meds.  I appreciate any advice from anyone.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

Good Morning

I am glad that you were able to be updated on his life. Do you feel like that is enough? Do you feel you have had some closure? If so- great!

I also enjoy a relationship that is up and down. I actually have made a gentlemen I was dating watch " 50 First Dates" because I can be just like Drew Berrymore in the movie.

I have a distraction plan for both anger and depression. A distraction plan is a list of coping techniques that you can do to distract your  thoughts and sensations about depression. Here are a few things I use to distract my depression:

* Practice mindfulness. If you are not familiar with this, I recommend you research it online. It involves being in the present moment. There are many exercises you can do with mindfulness.

* I imagine myself a hero correcting a past mistake. What did I do? What did I say? How did people respond?

* Imagine yourself getting praise from someone you admire. What do they compliment you on?

* Imagine your wildest fantasy coming true. This can be sexual or other.

* Reflect on a moment that brought you joy. What was it? How did you feel?

* Look at beautiful landscape scenery pics. Calenders are a good and cheap thing to use for this.

* Sniff pleasant fragrances. I tear out the sample perfume cards in magazines and save them.

* Recite a favorite poem or saying

I hope you can work with some of these!

I  actually have a nice pink shoe box that I have most of my distraction tools in.

Best wishes to you and keep your head up and smile :-)

[braccio]

How do you create a depression/distraction plan?  Your advice on contacting my obsession is good, but I already found out everything that's going on his life through a letter.  It's not possible to talk with him on the phone, since my husband is always home.  On top of this, the relationship wasn't really that good, I was just very needy and put up with a lot before breaking up with him.  I guess I thought I deserved to be treated poorly.  I think since I'm bipolar I enjoyed the ups and downs of the relationship.  Nothing was ever the same from day to day; I never knew where I stood.  Please give me your insight on this.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I think you should research your long lost love and contact him. Ask to have a phone conversation. The reason I suggest this is because your mind needs closure. Once you talk with him and you guys share updates on your lives, the obession with him might likely just go away. It is up to you and how supportive your husband is as to if you should tell him. I believe in honesty in relationships but I also believe that this is something you need to address so you can move beyond this.

I also take Geodon. Even though I am on 4 medications- it does not cure my depression. Since you have shared more info with me, I am going to suggest another book to read. The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns, MD is an EXCELLENT book that gives several exercises that help with depression.

I also recommend you create a depression/obsession distraction plan. Let me know if you need more info on that.

Best wishes!

[braccio]

I take 4 different medications; Depakote, Lamictal, Cymbalta and Geodon.  I've been on the Depakote for a long time, the rest of them less than 5 years.  I have had manic episodes, but mostly depressive.  When I last went to my doctor, he just raised my Lamictal.  I don't feel like the the meds are doing what they should be.  I've had obsessions about a guy I was engaged to 30 years ago, even though I've been married for 27 years.  I know these thoughts are pointless, but I can't seem to get rid of them.  I am trying CBT; do you think this is the right thing for obsessions, or do you think I need to get rid of the depression first?  Having the obsessions makes me think that I made the wrong decisions about the guy, even though I was the one who ended the relationship.  Sounds crazy, doesn't it?  I've even gone as far as contacting this guy (my mom had his address), and found out he's been married for 17 years, etc.  Any insight into this problem would be greatly appreciated.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I encourage you to discuss your concerns with your doctor. How many medications are you on? The average cocktail for bipolar is an mood stabilizer, an anti depressant, and sometimes anxiety meds. I take 4 medications.

[braccio]

Yes, I have been seeing a psychiatrist who doubles as a therapist.  That's why I'm wondering if I really need all the medicine the doctor is prescribing for me.  I guess time will tell.

[heyjude1]

Are you seeing a therapist?  If not, you may want to consider, especially now with the extra stress of finances, etc.  It would not  hurt.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

Hi braccio. I agree it can be very frustrating to be on so many meds and not having them work. I am sure you know it can take a while to find the right med combo. I felt how you felt and looked into biblotherapy ( reading therapy) as a way I can help myself. I have found the following 2 workbooks to help me help myself :


The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW

and

Overcoming Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Workbook for Managing Your Symptoms& Achieving Your Life Goals  

by Mark S. Bauer, M.D

These workbooks give you ways that you can help identify, manage, and work through your triggers.


I hope this helps!
Hang in there!

[braccio]

Thanks for your suggestion--I'm going to pick up this book at the library today.  I will ask my doctor at my next appointment about how long I am supposed to feel this way.

[sydneylou]

I found CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and mindfulness meditation to be extremely helpful. I'm still taking medication but I honestly believe I would be on many more prescriptions (or at the very least, higher doses) if I didn't practice these techniques.

Just a suggestion... there is an American Ph.D, John Kabat-Zinn, who teaches mindfulness meditation. He has books and CDs and the like, and is very good. As far as CBT goes, I had a number of sessions with a CBT therapist. She encouraged me to use a book, "Mind Over Mood". The book is from America so I imagine it would be easy for you o find.

As far as you being in a fog - I really think you need to stay on top of this with your doctor. Your quality of life is dramatically affected if you are walking around in a foggy state. Substituting symptoms of bipolar for feeling flat and in a fog doesn't seem right. Saying that, however, I can recall going through a foggy stage and eventually, after having my meds tweaked, the fog lifted.

Did he/she indicate how long you might feel this way?