Off Topic/If Mama don't Laugh

[anninwashington]

If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny  by Lucy Adams

If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny is one of our favorite new books and is the PERFECT GIFT for your MAMA or any other MAMA you know. And If your kids don't appreciate you enough to give you a copy just buy it for yourself.

We're not kidding when we say that this book will make you laugh so hard stuff will come out of your nose. Elaine Miller, Sales Gravy's lovely Director of Recruiter Relations, laughed so hard she cracked a rib.  

If your Mama didn't like the gift you got her make sure to cheer her up with a copy of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny.
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An excerpt from If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny

Oprah says never to speak out loud all those insecurities bubbling deep within our guts. We should always voice what we desire to happen, not what we fear will not occur. But if I never voiced my anxieties, too many to enumerate in compiling If Mama Don't Laugh, then no one would have ever placated, and perhaps patronized, me with, "Oh, Lucy. Your work is fantastic! You'll sell a million thousand bagillion books. You're a brilliant writer!"

I know all those people were mostly thinking, I wish she would shut-up about it already. But on the eve of this book coming to fruition, even the exaggerated kudos of the people financially invested in me could not melt away the doubts frozen in my head like sharp icicles on the cranial eaves aimed at piercing my fragile soul. Who am I to have a book?

Mother of four, wife of one, teacher of many, writer of sorts, some days self-critical to the point of paralysis, bossy since birth, I trudge through life wanting a pool in my backyard so badly I can see the chlorine rainbows around the streetlights. Sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking only of getting back in bed at night.

My home is well organized. Everything has a place on the floor where I can easily find it, or die tripping over it. I hired a housekeeper to save my marriage. She's cheaper than a divorce.

I've played taps for hundreds of withered houseplants.

My children cause me stress, drain my financial resources, challenge my knowledge, make me grow up, deny me privacy in the bathroom, drink out of my water glass without asking, smile when they see me coming, keep me tethered when I want to run away, and love me even when I stink at parenting. They are my treasure.

Touching raw chicken grosses me out. I love sushi until I really think about it. I drink my cream and sugar with a dash of coffee. I paid my cousin $20 to eat a cricket. Unlike her, I wouldn't swallow a bowl of worms for a million bucks.

My cat collects dead moles. My dog won't fetch. My parakeet bites the hand that feeds it.

I married for love.

I have a long-standing fantasy about climbing into a full milk vat in a dairy on a scorching August afternoon, floating on my back, and getting a total body milk mustache. I believe there's no problem that a long sit on the front porch can't solve.

I eat grits to stay in touch with my cultural heritage. One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing school supplies in stores the weekend after the 4th of July. When I hear Dixie, I cry sentimentally. When The Star Spangled Banner plays, I feel proud.

The bane of my existence, my burden to bear, is that I'm always happy, but never content. And after all these years, I still have no idea why I'm here. But I guess one conclusion I can draw from my research and self-analysis is that I put this book together to prove that between birth and death more happens in life than just breathing and washing clothes. Every moment has something more than the mundane.


(Excerpted from If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny (Palm Tree Press), by Lucy Adams.  

[anninwashington]

"The bane of my existence, my burden to bear, is that I'm always happy..."

very alpha myself, and naturally exuberant.  just constantly striving, and sometimes overstriving.....

[LetaB]

Reading this reminded me to go water my only existing plant. It was dead. Guess I should have read this sooner.

[Twelvesgirl]

That book does sound really good! I could go for a laugh, especially when talking about family and LIFE! Great Off Topic!

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high,
Take a look,
It's in a book,
Reading Rainbow.

I can go anywhere!
Friends to know,
And ways to grow,
Reading Rainbow.

I can be anything!
Take a look,
It's in a book,
Reading Rainbow.

Reading Rainbow,
Reading Rainbow,
Reading Rainbow,
Reading Rainbow!