Need to vent,,,,,,,,,,

[jennstuff]

Im so down,,hate feeling like this,,really really wish i could get better,,Every morning its a struggle getting out of bed,,i walk down to my living room and sit on my couch ,and thats where i stay all day,,,,My head hart all day n so did my body,,probly from lack of movment,,,but while im on my couch all day i read ,,write,,,read and write some more,,,i have been doing so much reading and writeing about my bipolar trying to figure out how i can beat it,,,,,,and yet i still feel hopless,,Even when the phone rings i dont answer it,,I know i should go to the hospital,,but my fears are stopping me,,I was supose to see my doctor this morning,,But i dident go,,,,,,,I dont know what to do,,,

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I hate how doctors think in such black and white terms like if you're working then your problem must not be serious.  Like gee let's not consider the fact that maybe you have real problems with functioning and working while off medication and perhaps you're life outside of work is barely functioning.  I had a person at the centers for mental health tell me I didn't need to go to some group thing because I was working and when I told her well I have a lot of trouble doing so when I'm not on medication she did a 180 and suggested I go.  It's so stupid, everything isn't black and white like that.  It's like you have to have seriously attempted to end your life before they take you seriously and listen to you and even then they brush you off and don't listen.

[velvetvenus]

i know exactly how you feel. when i'm depressed just brushing my teeth is a major accomplishment! most of the time i deal with mania and can't sit down hardly at all except at the computer briefly but when i'm depressed time just drags by and i'm sooo lethargic. you have to make yourself go to the psychiatrist immediately! you won't get better unless you do. you probably need medicine or a medicine change and quickly. just tell yourself you have to do this or you won't get better and i know how miserable it is. if you feel that you are going to harm yourself or someone else then call the hospital immediately, but if not call your psychiatrist and tell them how dire your mental state is and to work you in like now! do it in the morning! you have to if you want to come out of this. i know it is a struggle but it's more of a struggle dealing with this any longer than you have to. good luck

[ILADVOCATE]

Well seeing the doctor is a committment. That's the person to discuss it with. If things get out of hand then yes it makes sense to go to the hospital but schedule an appointment with your psychiatrist first unless you feel urges that are actively destructive or suicidal which doesn't seem to be what you are describing. He could discuss what could help you as regards medications and if he felt that you needed to go to the hospital then it would make sense. As regards "feelings of hopelessness" that can be part of depression. In not speaking to your psychiatrist what can happen is the feeling that one either feels they can't improve or in some way they don't feel they deserve better. You are doing some practical things but as things have taken a depressive turn it would make sense to call your psychiatrist. You could just say you forgot the appointment and need to reschedule if you feel uncomfortable about it. If you do feel things are out of hand you could go to a walk in clinic for evaluation though.