Possible Cyclothymia??

[KCNC06]

My husband and I both have ADHD, I have had excellent results from taking Adderall...I'm concerned about whether or not it's actually helping my husband or not though. I really have no idea if the issues that I'm seeing are because of the Adderall or something else, and can't seem to talk to him about it without making him angry. At one point several years before I met him he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though never took medication to treat it because he didn't agree with the diagnosis. No one that knew him agreed with the diagnosis either, not even me. Lately I'm wondering if we were all wrong though.

He's having major mood swings, he'll be hyperactive and hypertalkative and then something will happen and he'll be incredible angry or annoyed. So he's extremely hypersensitive too. These traits aren't really new, it's just new that they're lasting so long. Since I've known him, it seems like he goes through a phase lasting a day or two where he's hyper-everything, then he goes back to normal. During that period he'll often stay up all night talking on the phone to friends or going on long walks in the woods. After doing that for a night or two, he'll sleep for literally 3-4 days. He'll wake up a few times during that period and will seem to function normally, but once he really wakes up he has little to no memory of things that happened during those few days. These phases - hyper-everything and sleepiness - are often triggered by a day or evening of drinking too much. He and a friend will stop for drinks on their way home from work, and as soon as he walks in the door I can tell we're headed into one of these phases.

This latest one started about three weeks ago. Again, after stopping for drinks with a friend. He gets angry if I say something about the way he's acting because he apparently can't tell that he's acting any different. He's so hyper and lacking focus that he's annoying to be around. This time he stayed up all night "cleaning" - we still can't find several items that he put away that night. He was super tired for four days after that, and has been not acting like himself since then. His eyes look like he's either very tired or he's drunk or stoned all the time. He'll fall asleep at random times throughout the day. He rarely talks to me, and if he does talk to me and I respond...whatever I say is wrong and upsets him. Yesterday we were shopping and his judgment/behavior was so bad that he was acting like a 5 yr old and almost ripped a piece of furniture apart because he thought it was supposed to do something that it wasn't supposed to do. I told him to stop before he broke it, he snapped at me that he's sick of me treating him like he's a child all the time lately and stormed off from me. If I'm treating him like a child lately it's because he's acting like one! He's supposed to go on a business trip this week and I'm having extremely mixed feelings about him going. I'm afraid of what he might do since his judgment is so sketchy lately, mostly afraid he might go for a walk and get lost or start a fight with someone. But at the same time, I'm so tired of dealing with this behavior that I'd really like to have a few days away from him!

I can't talk to him about it. He's not rational enough to understand that I'm not trying to be mean, I'm actually concerned. He also doesn't see any difference in his personality/behavior. I've tried to talk to him, but he gets so defensive. I just don't really even know what to say to him. I don't want to talk to my family about it because they can't keep anything to themselves and I don't want everyone we know getting involved. That won't help anything. I kind of think that alcohol plays a big role in this issue and don't know how to bring that up. Once before he misinterpreted something that I said as trying to prevent him from drinking and got angry that I was trying to "control him". He's never done or said anything that makes me feel like I'm in danger, he just gets angry and grumpy.

Any suggestions on how I can talk to him?? I have talked to his stepmom a little about this in the past. She can tell how much he changes when he's been drinking, but his father is kind of the same way so his father can't see the changes.

[james1001nights]

hi KCN, any resolution? as someone who struggles with similar and has seen friends go through it, definitely sounds like co-occuring bipolar and alcohol problems. the timeline of it suits cyclothymia and the alcohol probably triggers the natural swings or is used to alter them...really tricky to control, its like waves in a kiddie pool. but support groups and therapy and possible meds can surely help get X on the right track.

[Jade59]

While I know manic phases of bipolar can possibly manifest in this manner and I do apologize if I'm way off, but it sounds like your husband is either abusing his Adderall or some other amphetimine.  If he is in fact abusing anything, he'll be unapproachable.  I know you are only concerned, but he's not listening to you so is there any other family member he Would listen to?

[ILADVOCATE]

Hard to say. Generally if a person is not approachable on this issue I tend to suggest family members approach them or NAMI friend and family support groups. I would say its probable that the use of alcohol set it off again but that it will occur regardless. I am not sure if its cyclothymia as that is mild bipolar but only a psychiatrist would understand this in full. Someone has to be able to approach them on this and encourage them to seek help.