Running out of steam

[BeeKeeper]

Alright, so granted this week and the next are not a great time - I'll include myself in that group.  Were it not for my kids, i good easily breeze past them unseen.  Perhaps it's because of this, or because I was in a manic state over the weekend and am crashing now...but I'm running out of steam...getting tired of all this.  Meds were changed a month or so ago and things were great...rapid cycles slowed and not extreme, I could sleep for the first time in almost a year, and sleep without the dreams - or any dreams.  Now, I'm cycling, the dreams are back, and my sleep is restless.

I'm tired of going to the pdoc or psychologist to "air" my problems.  I'm just tired of trying to "fix" me.  In this long term fight, right now I just want to sit out for awhile.  Just sit down on the curb and let the rest of the world run by.

Anybody ever feels this way?  What do you do to get you out of the slump - to make you feel like continuing the fight?

[BeeKeeper]

Thanks for the last thought about just trying to have more good days.  you made me smile at the TV reference.

I'm just frustrated.  My metabolism seems to adjust pretty quickly to any med regiment.  the current one I've been on for just a couple of months and for the first time in a long time I've been able to actually sleep - and sleep without nightmares or dreams.  About three days ago the dreams started and the restless nights.  Yesterday the uncontrolled shaking in my left hand started again and I had a nightmare last night and woke this morning feel like someone had beat me with a basball bat.

I know everybody here goes through these changes and adjustments.  i know everyone gets tired and frustrated by it.  i'm just there - again - and instead of banging my hrad against a wall just needed to write it down.  thanks all for listening.

[Xila31]

I also have some trouble this time of year. Dec. 5, 1992 is when I lost my mom. So this time of year tends to remind me of her. Even with my own kids it just makes me remember all the things I used to do with her like put up the tree, make cookies, and so on. I also try to stay busy. I really try to watch a lot of funny movies and things when I'm down. I try to surround myelf with humor. This has been my tactic even when I was a kid. I remember in some of my worst bouts of depression between 14-16 years old, I would watch stand up comedy for hours on end and never laugh or even smile. But I wouldn't turn it off.

I try to avoid things that are sad, so I'll stay away from the news. I like to read the odd news instead. Usually they have good weird or funny stories. I read a lot of comics. Anyway, I know it is a weird way to go about it but that's what I do.

I know that we're in a forever thing, but maybe instead of thinking of it like trying to be "fixed," you could think of it differently. Maybe think of it like "to have more good days." Because you're not actually broken. You're just you and this is just part of who you are. Like all of us here. I don't think any of us are really broken, we're just dealing with something some other people don't. We just work differently. Like my old t.v. that needed extra aluminum foil on the antena... it worked just fine as long as it had a little help.

I hope you feel better.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Don't have the same thing but my illness is chronic and can be severe as well.  All I do is try to do things to distract my mind from not thinking too much about life such as playing games for example until it passes or you can do whatever you like to do of that nature.  I also write rants on my website about things to get it all out instead of bottling it up and not directing it towards anyone but at the same time people can listen to it so to speak but these usually involve conflicts in life and rarely ever my illness.  Try to look at the big picture that you'll have better days on the opposite end of the spectrum and it's most likely going to be temporary even if it lasts 5 years although hopefully... no. lol