About 18 mths ago I went back to school, got married, quit drinking and started taking medications for depression.
Since that point I have felt worse than ever. It's almost like I am being punished for trying to change my life for the better.
I have tried numerous anti-depressants which all seemed to trigger a manic episode (on the depressed side), I started seeing a psychiatrist the end of 2007, he started me on Lamictal which didn't seem to do anything, I didn't feel really any different than any other times although I didn't have the severe depression episodes. I tried Lamictal for about 4 mths but it seemed to make me feel sluggish and not really mentally aware, in comparson to my normal mental state. I quit taking the Lamictal for this reason but now I'm stuck back in a huge black tar pit that I can't seem to get out of. I have been in bed for the past 3 days, I didn't go in to work I have horrible headaches and I am wondering if the trade off is worth it. Does that sluggishness go away after time? If I elect to go back on the Lamictal then is there an end in site to the lack of energy and foggy head? I have to take something though my slumps are going to cost me my job and possibly my marriage although as gloomy as I am I don't really care (but on the other side of my mind I do care a lot).
I have actually considering going back to drinking because it gave me an out for my depression, but I know that is not the answer to my problem.
I am really tired of not being able to find the miracle pill but if I quit looking then I will be stuck feeling like I do right now which is unbearable.
Do any of you know if most bi polar meds have a tendency to make a person feel unmotivated and foggy, do any of them add a bit of euphoria to the fogginess which would make it more tolerable.