Spouse has bipolar?

[tinkletinklelilstar]

Married 30yrs seems I cant do this anymore is he bipolar? He won't go 2 a dr. meanwhile family, kids, and me, friends are all paying a price of trying 2 get along & I'm so tired of covering for him making up excuses! He is obnoxious, mean, says whatever hurts anyone in his path and other times he is gentle, kind, big smile with grandkids. But kids dont want to come around b/c he is so hurtful (eg: words, belittles,etc.) is he bipolar or just a *******? Asked for divorce.. seems Im locked in to help. trust me NO DR> he wont go! we been married 30 yrs. getting worse as he gets older??

[geno203g]

I am the result of my mother "trying to do the right thing". I love her to death and god look the other way if anyone else trys to hurt her in any way. My semen donor was mentally and physically abusive and mom really wishes she could take back her decision to stay with this monster (the semen donor)as he did his thing to all of us. I digress I have also seen where the dad is a loving and caring dad and then all of the sudden he became the man you somewhat discribe. He has the best of intentions but went about it all the wrong ways. His grandkids were affraid to be around him as he was one of the biggest grouches. I had several confronttations with him trying to tell him that all of the family loved him and cared for him to no avail. Now he has become very loving to his wife as he is affraid of her not being there to "help" him and we all are convinced that he has altzimers. He always argued with any or all takers, all you had to do is express an opinion and katy bar the door because you were in for the arguement of your life. These opinions might just be the same one he expressed earlier and you agree with him and he would argue against that stance. Anyhow you need to tell him to get help or you are gone or you physically have him removed from your house.

[Xila31]

Well, unfortunately the only person who can tell if he is bipolar or not, (or some other illness,) is a doctor. We don't have the ability to say if he is or not. It does not sound like you've had a good time and he could be bipolar or just an abuser. He fits the description of an abuser from your post. Mean one minutes, kind and I'm sorry the next. Whether he has bipolar or not, he is an abuser and you should leave now since he doesn't seem willing to get help after 30 years.

I'm sorry this happened, but when you file for divorce put down emotional abuse as the reason. You don't have to stay with him. You've given 30 years to the abuse, you have a right as a human to get away from it.

I've also heard that some people who suffer from things like alzheimers and dementia become very abusive, even if they never were. But once again, that would require a doctor. If he won't go, what can you do. Take care of yourself and your kids and grandkids. Everyone has suffered enough.