I have taken lithium off and on for 30+ years, I am now taking seroquel, I feel so tired and washed out. I have tried going offthe lithium once for 9 years, one time and a few other times and something always happens. I have a horrible stigma about it and just do not know how to shake it. I am having constipation side affects as well, with synthoid too. I feel depressed for no apparent reason and am going to tell the psych when I go back soon. I hate therapy. I am highly educated and everyone says it doesn't matter, I am a high achiever, in writing, and am pursuing a writing career with much vigilance. I do get to the poing of resenting anyone who says to slow down, and don't think I am much different than other people. I do not believe I am in a fantasy world.....I have been through allot and try to not dwell on the poast, but its very difficult, any suggestions....17 yrs education 25 in career....Happy home life...good communication. How to I keep from thinking of the things that caused the manic episodes, and stop fearing the episodes....I really try to keep the thoughts away.....What do I do?