Does anyone else throw themselves into work or something else when ...

[Fizzy74]

You're having a bad day, or feeling just not "quite right".  I woke up this morning and have probably known it was building, but woke up today just not right!  Was really grumpy, out of sorts, and really having to force being happy, which I hate, as I get so tired.  I have been working all week, and really enjoyed it, but started feeling out of sorts a few days ago.  

My husband who is beautiful has been working so much lately and I haven't seen him, finally got to see him last night (where he proceeded to watch rugby all night) and then today the first Saturday he has had off in months and he decides to go and play rugby and go out drinking with the boys.  Which is great, because he does need to have his time out, but I have felt like myself and the boys have been pushed out and forgotten about.  He is hard to tatlk to as he just shuts down and whenever I have a "moment" it is put down to my bipolar!  

So I find whenever I am like this that I throw myself into my work, completley forgetting about everything else, whilst also partaking in some retail therapy of which we can't afford!  Then my next comforter eating!

I was really bad this morning, till I bumped into a mate, who I am sure I was meant to bump into who also has bipolar, I told her exactly how I was feeling as I knew she would understand, and she said just ride with it, just go with the mood and just ride with it, don't fight it!  It was probably the best advice I had all day!  She looks great, and she was committed to hospital the other week because her ex husband (who doesn't understand the disease) thinks she is unwell!  I can't believe that there is still such a stigma, and to be hones tI think there always will be.  

I have hated the way I felt and acted today, especially as I have been doing really well.  I think I hate more the look my husband gets, like "here she goes again" and the fact that they wait for you to blow up, or lose it, or something.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent, I hope everyone out there is okay and its also just realising that you can climb up the mountain, but every so often you do slip back, and that's okay!

[Csandnugget]

:-(.
I'm 'sorry' Fizzy.

[jupsie]

Wow, so sorry to hear that!  I guess he isn't so beautiful after all. Are you ok?  "You will be ok"! "Of course you will be ok! "  Good luck Fizzy and keep us posted!  I can tell you are a strong women! So just keep on moving!

[Fizzy74]

Okay so have found out why my mood has been off, found out about an hour ago that hubby has been having an affair for over three months!!!!  

It all just seems too surreal at the moment!  

[moonpanda]

I have often done the same thing, with schoolwork at least. I've had to learn how to work around my moods and the symptoms that accompany them. It became a sort of comfort, where I could drag myself to the library with no distractions, open my book and try to read. If it took me hours longer than usual, that was fine, because at least I was doing something that was taking my mind off of how horrible I felt. If my mind was racing and the letters were dancing around the page a bit, it was still a way to channel my energy into something productive. For a long time, I really structured my life around constant work, because if I didn't, I knew I would just get sucked down into that pit sitting in my brain. It actually worked for a while!

I'm sorry that your husband doesn't seem too empathetic right now. This illness can be a really tough thing for the people in your life/ with whom you're living to understand because it can really manifest in scary or confusing ways. I've had a lot of problems living with my boyfriend, because he's human and sometimes just doesn't want an irritable, irrational, crying mess to deal with, you know? But with a lot of time and some research, they may start to see that these things are largely out of our conscious control. I was looking at some books the other day, and a lot were written specifically on what to do if your loved one has bipolar disorder. Maybe you could persuade him to read one of those? It might give him at least some insight and coping tips for when your moods become difficult to deal with. Also, if you see a therapist/ counselor, maybe you would be able to bring him along one day to have the counselor explain to him what your illness does and how he can best cope with it. A counselor of mine did that with my parents a few years ago to talk to them about severe depression, and it completely changed our situation and their understanding of what I was going through. Best of luck!

[Princessdaniella]

Yes I tend to do the same with my assignments and also with my housework and cleaning and write a lot of poetry etc.
I handed in an assignment the other day that is not due for 2 months as I was feeling rather anxious and tend to throw myself into some type of work when I am feeling this way. It is a distraction and it is a good way of keeping yourself busy as long as You're not overworking to the point You're injuring Yourself.
I am sorry You are going through this it must be a very hard time I am thinking of you and wishing You well