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Grieving vs. depression
I am absolutely devastated.
I have text book signs and symptoms of a serious depression BUT in reality, I'm grieving the loss of a friend. She died yesterday and I feel empty. I'm aware of how easy it would be to shift from grieving the sudden death of someone I loved, to slipping into a deep, dark depression; perhaps this time, never coming out of it. Yes, it's early days and I know it will take time. I also mindful of getting enough sleep, exercise, eating well, taking meds etc. etc. but I am soooooo heavy-hearted and in many ways just want to give into the sorrow and sink to the ocean floor.
How will I know I've crossed the line from grieving a loss to being clinically depressed?
I have text book signs and symptoms of a serious depression BUT in reality, I'm grieving the loss of a friend. She died yesterday and I feel empty. I'm aware of how easy it would be to shift from grieving the sudden death of someone I loved, to slipping into a deep, dark depression; perhaps this time, never coming out of it. Yes, it's early days and I know it will take time. I also mindful of getting enough sleep, exercise, eating well, taking meds etc. etc. but I am soooooo heavy-hearted and in many ways just want to give into the sorrow and sink to the ocean floor.
How will I know I've crossed the line from grieving a loss to being clinically depressed?
I haven't been on this site for some time now. Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts, well wishes, understanding and prayers. Although the sun is shining, today feels very gloomy BUT, after reading your comments, filled with genuine support and empathy, I have stopped crying and truly feel comforted.
My thanks and love to you all!
My thanks and love to you all!
I am so sorry for your loss hun and agree with a lot of the advice everyone else has given you. You are experiencing normal feelings and although it doesn't feel like it this is a good thing. If you weren't experiencing any feelings then that really would be something to worry about. Make sure your first line health care provider is aware of what you are currently going through, you may need more regular appointments for a while so that if this grieving becomes something more they are there for you.
My thoughts are with you xx
My thoughts are with you xx
When I studied the psychology of grieving process at uni, studies showed most grieving people exhibited symptoms that could be classified under major depression. It is natural to feel like that after such a loss. However if you continue to feel this badly for an extended period of time then you should obviously get treatment. People go on about stages, and there is truth in that but the grieving process is so individual, there is no set rule as to how long it will take to feel 'better'. There are bereavement counsellors who can help one through this, and there are some amazing people here in this community that can offer their support if you feel down. Take care of the basics - sleep routine, eat / take meds regularly and give yourself a break, and you will get through this dark time.
I will keep you in my prayers. It's tuff for anyone to loose someone so close. Keep a support system around you to help talk about how you feel and get in touch with your doctor so he can decide whats best for you. Hope you can get to feeling better soon I know it feels impossible and I cant imagine how you feel but you can always come here for support along with your doctor and friends and family. Hang in there {{{hugs}}}}
I thank all of you for your kind words and suggestions.
I really don't know if I can go on without her. I don't know if I can fight to stay "well". It would be so easy to give in and give up. Please recognize that I am NOT suicidal... absolutely NOT at all! This is just how I feel right now and it's distressing.
I really don't know if I can go on without her. I don't know if I can fight to stay "well". It would be so easy to give in and give up. Please recognize that I am NOT suicidal... absolutely NOT at all! This is just how I feel right now and it's distressing.
There's sort of a blurry yet at the same time definite line between just depression and major depression which I don't understand in full but everyone I ask who knows about depression tells me this. As far as I know normal depression is a normal response the mind has to trauma or a bad situation in general while clinical depression is the next step up and can happen for no reason which is diagnosed if it has lasted for at least two weeks and for a certain period of time after an event such as bereavement. I would ask the therapist or psychiatrist like ILADVOCATE said if you're wanting to know out of learning curiosity like me. I also believe major depression also causes things like the inability to even get out of bed while depression doesn't go quite that far but I wouldn't be able to tell you from my own experience as I never experienced a sadness so great my daily functioning was hindered because of it.
It is hard to tell when people are referring to depression and major depression as the terms are often used interchangeably but I was led to believe everyone no matter who they are gets at least depressed at least once in their life.
It is hard to tell when people are referring to depression and major depression as the terms are often used interchangeably but I was led to believe everyone no matter who they are gets at least depressed at least once in their life.
That is a normal reaction. I am very sorry for you and thinking of you.
The hardest thing is to grieve properly you have to 'feel your feelings' in fact i believe the more you cry in the beginning, the more natural the grieving process. Slowly after a few weeks, you will find an hour where you do not think of your friend and slowly over time this will extend to a day.
I am one year after a loss, I forget a lot of the time now, but then suddenly i have 'grief bursts' which come on me for no reason. This is normal, i sit and cry and cry. It gets better. I had bereavement counseling. Google Kübler-Ross, on grieving and recognize how it goes. The only way through it, is through it.
Don't be so hard on yourself. And talking to people, ?? They don't want to hear, at first you find sympathy, but then they cant cope and make you feel like 'you should be over it now', but you are not. Good luck.
I wish you well.
The hardest thing is to grieve properly you have to 'feel your feelings' in fact i believe the more you cry in the beginning, the more natural the grieving process. Slowly after a few weeks, you will find an hour where you do not think of your friend and slowly over time this will extend to a day.
I am one year after a loss, I forget a lot of the time now, but then suddenly i have 'grief bursts' which come on me for no reason. This is normal, i sit and cry and cry. It gets better. I had bereavement counseling. Google Kübler-Ross, on grieving and recognize how it goes. The only way through it, is through it.
Don't be so hard on yourself. And talking to people, ?? They don't want to hear, at first you find sympathy, but then they cant cope and make you feel like 'you should be over it now', but you are not. Good luck.
I wish you well.
Actually the loss of a friend or any emotional trigger for that matter can set off an episode of depression. Rather than trying to analyze any feelings you have its best to discuss them with a therapist and just call to your psychiatrist's attention what happened in your life. You are doing the right thing to see if events happen that are signs of depression in your life. Other than that its best to acknowledge the loss in your life and talk about it with those people you feel comfortable talking about your life with in general.
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I still struggle every day with the loss of my friend, and it's still hard to for me to imagine my life moving on without her. I know what you mean when you say that you're not suicidal, but you just can't conjure up a desire to fight right now. I had a lot of support during the first months after her death, and I had people who made sure that I ate and slept and took my medication. I took summer courses, which gave me a distraction and a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Unfortunately, I did slide into a terrifying mixed episode a few months later, but it's hard for me to pinpoint whether or not my grief was a catalyst for that. The past year has just been a blur of feeling awful for one reason or another, so...
It's just such a hard thing to deal with, and I'm so, so sorry that you're going through this.