What am I???

[Doodlebug9]

Few years ago I was spiralling out of control fast. My partner at the time made me go the doctors and they referred me to a place where they could assess me. They mentioned I may have bipolar or some sort of schizophrenic disorder, but hearing this I got upset and left and never went back. I learned how to manage my mood swings and I understand that my delusions and paranoia are all in my head. (Don't get me wrong, it’s not been perfect, and sometimes I have lost friends over my actions.) I have moved away from my family home and my parents to be with a new partner and a new job but I am finding I can't control myself anymore. I feel so unpredictable it's scary; my partner is even getting worried and wants me to get help. I'm worried that if I do I'll be labelled and treated differently and that it could possibly affect my job as sometimes I get asked medical history and have to do CRB checks. Is there any other way I can help myself rather than going to a GP? I've done it before, I just think with my move, everything has fell out of sync. If I don't do something I know I will lose the people I care about, even my job (I can see it being affected already) or even hurt myself.
Someone must know what to do???
Rachel :(

[lindahand]

I would check into the laws surrounding Mental Illness protection in your state. If you aren't in a high risk job I don't think they can fire you but I am not sure, and if they really want to fire you they will find a way unfortunately.

Getting help though can be life changing. What would your life look like if you didn't have to battle the paranoia and delusions? What could you do that you aren't doing now because of them? You must be so tired. Battling it on your own can be so difficult. And they will give you a label although it may not be right away. Sometimes they wait a couple of sessions to see how things are going first.

In the meantime if you are bipolar taking omega oils - I take 4 pills a day. helps a bit according to some research I've seen. Helps a bit. Not a lot but I notice a difference. At least it won't hurt you and isn't terribly expensive.

[freddie8605]

If your lose your job because of a mental illness label then take them to court, as that's not right nor fair. I agree there are poeple out there with stigma so maybe seek treatment and make it clear that you don't want a label or diagnosis and just want to be treated for what they think it is. They may be open to that if you explain why or they may not, but at least you tried. I think if this is impacting on your life then i do think its important to get help, and if it is schizophrenia or bipolar i don't think you can do that alone. Maybe get your partner to go with you to appointment that might help.

Freddie

[Anneinside]

If you have a mental illness, learning the "label" for it doesn't change what is happening. If you are having as much trouble as you describe then it is time for medical intervention. Yes, they will give you a diagnosis but you can't get treatment unless they have a way to characterize your symptoms so they will know what medications to prescribe. Go in knowing there will be a diagnosis, and that it doesn't change who you are, and you can get help.