bi polar

[cosmo761]

my son is 23 yrs old,for the last 4 yrs I feel like he has been on a downward swing. I had him go to a phychiatrist, they said he was depressed. He would not take any meds. He dropped out of school and is not working. His mood is terrible, he is ok one minute and cursing and punching holes in my wall the next. He curses at me and my husband. He is now seeinga LCSW, I think he is bi polar. My husband thinks he has a drug problem.  He always has to have money on him. He was tested for drugs and it came back negative. How can I get him help, my husband wants hm out of the house. He has also stole money from us, and has been arrested 2 times. Help

[therese83]

You do not have to let him live with you if you feel in danger or refuses to get help.

He is very into himself and if you think he could cope alone, you could tell him you love him and will always be there, but he cant live with you.

I know I have been there and it was my husband, it took a lot of therapy to get to the point where of he calls me I can decide when i will return the call.  If he asks me to help him, i say "sorry no".  Your son is an adult and has to make his own choices.

Maybe that is too harsh sounding, because it takes years for most people to come to this point.

[capegirlnoshoes]

I don't know what specific practical things could be done to help your son, since he is plainly non-compliant and therefore knowledge of specific mental health services and legal issues come into play.  I live in New Zealand, which has a rather different legal and mental health system.  
However, ILADVOCATE is right to caution you regarding bipolar.  Mood swings by themselves are not evidence of bipolar.  It is true that the manic/hypomanic phase of bipolar can manifest itself as rage, however, sudden switches between rage and depression are not evidence of bipolar.  One would need to look more carefully at what else accompanies the rage to see whether it would be classed as a hypomanic/manic episode.  Also it would depend on how long each phase lasts for.  
Right now all that is certain is that your son has problems with anger and depression and the behaviour that such emotions prompt in him.  These things by themselves can be successfully treated with just talking therapy, although they sometimes do require drug treatment as well.  If he isn't compliant then it is difficult to force him to submit to treatment.  However, since the police have been involved, there may be grounds for him to sectioned as an involuntary patient in some kind of institution (which would almost certainly not be for the long-term).  But here is where it gets into legal and practical niceties which I as a New Zealander know nothing about.  

[cosmo761]

I spoke to the social worker about a phychiatrist and he feels that he does not need to see one and take meds.  I am going to find one and take my son there, I do not see any good happening for him, even the neighbors on my block have noticed the change in him. Weight loss, smokes cigs way to much, is in trouble with the cops, etc  I feeel like I am at a loss in helping him,  he is my son and I do not want to just give up on him.  Thank you for your reply

[ILADVOCATE]

   There is supported housing (where a social worker visits once a month), supportive housing (where a social worker visits daily) and community residences (more intensive supervision) for people with psychiatric disabilities. That might be one worthwhile option for your son. His social worker should be able to help with that. She also should be able to help find a referral to a psychiatrist and also if he is engaging in that kind of behavior he might have to see a psychiatrist and stay in treatment regardless. As regarding whether he has bipolar it depends on how his moods vary as sometimes extreme anger can occur in bipolar (but it can also be part of other psychiatric disabilities, it depends on what else is going on) but only a psychiatrist could make a specific diagnosis but you could discuss that with one.