Could it be Bi-Polar disorder??? please help someone!

[mamaof4410]

I've been a member of me help for a couple years now but only in the pregnancy forum. A little about me...I'm 25 and I have been with my husband for almost 11 years. We have 4 kids and are currently pregnant with our 5th baby and our second little girl.
I had a tough childhood and I don't have a good relationship with my mother. When I was 12 I was diagnosed with depression after her and my stepdad split up. I would get so angry I would cut myself and it honestly made the other pain go away. The depression lightened up when I met my husband when I was 14. He changed everything for me. He's never turned his back on me and has stuck with me through all of the bull with my family. We had our first son when I was 16 and he was 17. I've always had really crazy mood swings and I get mad and really frustrated for no reason or over the littliest things. It drives me crazy and my hubby has to tell me I need to relax.
Its hard to describe without sounding crazy but its almost as though I "snap" in and out of it. I pride myself on having a really solid family with my husband and our kids but this is something I've had to deal with alone for awhile. I'll be really happy and in a great mood some days and other days I'm a complete witch for absolutely no reason and I just want to cry. I get really excited at times and i will make plans to do things for another day and when that day comes I'm like why did I open my mouth. I do that alot. And I'm always complaining about the dumbest things. Like I said my hubby is very understanding and I'm so thankful for that.
I went to my PCP for a routine check up for the year and i tried asking him what he thought and he asked me like 3 questions and said I was most likely dealing with "moderate depression" I didn't feel as though he listened to me at all. The nurse was looking at me like I was crazy sitting in there 5 1/2 months pregnant with my 6 year old daughter and my 4 year old son. She looked at me like she wanted to say something smart. I hate being judged because I try so hard to give my babies the life my mother didn't give me. If that's one thing she taught me it was that I never wanted yo be like her. Can someone that has been diagnosed with this please help shed some light as to what the symptoms are and if I could possibly be dealing with this and what I can do for the mood swings...please someone help me...thank you

[rogelio63]

Yeah,,what she said.
I can relate to what you're saying but,,,,when you go to talk to someone tell them exactly how you are feeling and have felt.  It's good to be writing things down so you remember it all.  Don't go in with the idea,,"people have told me I'm bipolar and look, see  it looks like I am!"  just tell them what's been going on and let them make the call. That's why they get paid so much.  If you think they didn't listen to you regardless of what they tell you, say goodbye and find someone that you can trust and listens to you.

[Bipolarbaby4]

I have bipolar and a lot of the things you are describing I can relate to.  It is possible you could have bipolar. And instead of waiting to find a referral try calling your insurence company an they will give u a lot of psychiatrists in your area that take your insurence.  There is not much you can do about the bipolar medication wise rite now because of your pregnancy, but after you have the baby tere are many medical options.  But therapy has helped me so much. You should definately see a therapist and talk to her about your feelings

[mamaof4410]

And that's the thing...ive been like this since I was young. It didn't just start happening. I've just been really wondering lately whether or not its just me or if its something deeper than that. Thank you for responding. I see my ob on Tuesday and he's awesome and i know hell listen to me so I want to see what he recommends. I dont know if he will be able to refer me to a physichiatrist or not but I will know what to do more or less...hopefully. thanks again!

[nomeglyttyr]

Your PCP can't really help much in general, and it sounds like he is especially unhelpful. A therapist can help you sort out your moods much better and help you decide what steps would be best to take regardless of your diagnosis. You're going through a lot and it must be hard to have so much responsibility for young ones at the same time. I hope you find someone who can help.

[mamaof4410]

I also forgot to mention I also have really bad anxiety and i get panic feelings alot when things get out of my routine. And i know its normal to have mood swings while pregnant but its like its gotten waaayyy worse since I became pregnant and i need to figure out whats going on. Mostly because I know its not going to go away. I also forgot to mention stress. I don't have to worry about money or bills or having things for the kids. My husband works and so do I. I don't have anything that would cause stress to a "normal" person. But I feel so anxious all the time and i have trouble sleeping because of it and when i can't sleep I lay awake at night and my mind just races with thoughts. I don't know if that has any coincidence...
Again any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks