Help

[jbb34]

I am involved with a woman who I adore....I knew she had bi polar before I got involved with her. For the most part I am pretty good at dealing with it. MY question is this...does not being able to let go of people from your past have anything to do with having bi polar ? I am asking because she and I were going so smootly and now there is this ex in the picture whom wants her back and she claims she doesn't want to be with her but she has a really hard time letting her go out of her life completely. She says it gas to do with her condition.....is this true or is she just using it for an excuse? I would appreciat any feed back that I can get...Thanks so much.

[jbb34]

Thanks sweetie...I love you too! I really want us to work through this too but Im not sure we will.

[jbb34]

Thanks for sharing.....Im thinking that I have to have a serious talk with her and  see if I can get to the bottom of everything. I person can only take so much tho even if they love the other person.

[jbb34]

Thanks for your advice and comments....has given me something to think about. I do care for her a great deal and want us to be together, but she seems to be pushing me away. I am going to try to talk with her and keep in mind some of the things you have said and hope that the end reslut is good. THanks again....

[RubyShooz]

Yes, it's an interesting question.  I have trouble letting go with an ex and I never thought it might be connected to my bipolar, but now that you mention it, there's a good chance they are related.
I was married in 1992 to a man -- we dated for just 6 months and it was "love at first sight".  We both sold our homes and had a lovely new home built.  The marriage lasted 4 years and we were divorced in 1996 -- sold the house and we both moved on.  

But for the last 12 years I have done nothing but secretly obsess over my ex -- wondering "what if" -- I seem to be still in love with the person I WISH he was, with the FANTASY of what our life together SHOULD HAVE been -- not really in love with the man himself.  I have had other relationships since then, currently living with my boyfriend of 9 years and we are very happy -- but I still can't let go of my ex.  We have had no contact with each other -- it's all in my mind.

I should also mention that the marriage was my third -- looking back, I blame my bp for the end of my first two marriages (all with different husbands, I did not remarry the same man).  My bp has really screwed up my life, even though I thought I was controlling it with medication and have always seen my pdoc regularly.

Best of luck to you.

[stylez37]

I'm really proud of you for reaching out to others.  I hope you two can work through this.  You know I love ya J.
xox R.

[bp13]

Hi
Interesting question you have there! I would be looking at the whole picture here and asking myself if she is behaving differently, are there any signs that she is going into a manic stage?  Do you know her moods? Is she ready for a relationship with you?
How long have you been involved with her?  When she says it has to do with her condition is this a hint that she may not be really thinking rationally???
Change for me (as I have the condition) is hard and situations like letting go of something  for me can be tough, but talk to her about why this person is important in her life?. If you really care for her then I would suggest working through this and basically all you can do is be comfortable with the situation and if your not, move on! This may also help her to overcome this person and be ready to let go of them if this is what she decides.... Love Hurts and if it's meant to be you will both know.... Love is great so when you both find it and whether it be together then this will be  one of many obstacles you will get through. All relationships are hard work but the end result is LOVE!!!!  I really believe you need to try and figure out if she has true feelings for this person or if there is a genuine reason for them to be still in her life. Don't be scared of the answer as things happen for a reason.....
I hope this has made sense...
Take care
bp13 xxx