Lady I work with is very demeaning at times ...

[Fizzy74]

I don't know what to do I have bipolar II, and have recently been through a bad "depressive/low" period, i have felt really bad about myself and have been really really low.  My husband had an affair which I found out about two months ago and up until about three weeks ago I thought I was okay and dealing with it really well.  However, the last three weeks has been hell to say the least.  I work for myself and have my own typing business, my only source of income at the moment is working for a lady who has her own legal practice with myself and two other ladies working there.  I am finding it hard at the moment because she has at times been really rude to me, and very sarcastic and talking down to me etc.  Last night I emailed her my invoice to pay, and found out today that she was actually there at the time, but chose to ignore it, I have now not been paid and although we will be okay over the next few days, it is the principle of it!  What I think makes it worse for me is the fact that she is aware of my bipolar.

I am finding that I am focussing a lot on this issue, which irritates me, it doesn't help that I have also been quite sick for the last two weeks, and on antibiotics plus my toy boys have been really sick, so we have been couped up in the house for the last two weeks.  My husband has been working really late nights, and away a lot, which of course has got my mind going ten to the dozen.  I am finding that I am not sleeping at night although I am exhausted because I am sick with a sinus infection, having just had a chest infection and onset of asthma.  But am lying awake chewing over both my husband and this lady I work for.

I don't know whether to cut my losses and move away from that environment, or just to count to 10, bide my time and perhaps somethign else will turn up.  It seems everytime something finishes, something else comes along to fill that gap.  

I am just really unhappy and finding that I am more unhappy at the mometn, than I am happy!  Plus I don't have a lot of family support, and my husband isn't here at the moment anyways!  

Thank you for letting me rant.

[run4you]

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate.

It sounds like you and your husband have decided to work through the issues and the affair? I think it's very, very reasonable for him to have to work hard to re-earn your trust after this - by calling you, checking in, etc. If he is serious about working on it, he will understand that you NEED reassurance right now, because your trust was misplaced before. He should be bending over backwards to help you deal with this if he wants to re-earn your trust. Marriage counseling would probably really help you.

About your boss... there are just some really rude people out there. The best thing is to let rude things roll off your back. However... about her not paying you... that would not be something I would let slide. Is she going to pay you today? One day isn't a big deal, but if we're talking several days, it's time to (nicely) remind her that you depend on your paycheck to feed your kids and pay the bills, and getting it when it's billed is very important.

Good luck... hope everything starts looking up soon :)

[adel_ezz]

Hi

About the lady not respecting you this won't decrease in any way your self respect. In life one meets often species who are very rude and not understanding.

I think what is tormenting you really is your husband affair. In life there are things which are reversible and others that are irreversible. This lady is the least you should worry about. Your husband is on the contrary a longer relationship and worth investing in it because you also have kids. You can choose to forgive him if you wish and if he shows real concern. But also if you choose to punish him he will be the looser after all because although he can have a nice time now but being deprived from his boys is not easy after getting a little older. So I see that you will win eventually by taking care and looking after your kids.

So although you seem to be encountering many dilemmas, I would worry the least about this lady and try to maximize ANY profit from her if you can, until your business with her ends; for your relationship is not something which can last indefinitely; it's just a transient period. whereas it's your husband relationship that you have to settle first. I become more sad when a friend insults me but never from someone not important to me if he hurts me.

Sometimes bringing the issue of bipolarity in front of others can make them bored and frustrated. Even if sometimes they show that they have become understanding but after a while they give it up and become usually not very much considerate. Because bipolarity is our own problem really and even if we are suffering from the inside try (easily said than done) not to bring it as an issue all the time with others. Your relationship with this lady is pure business and being bipolar or not will not transform her into a sort of humanistic and this you won't expect.

In my modest view, figure out how you will deal with your husband first. But if you depend upon him financially postpone your decision this a little bit.

Think of yourself more than to think of others and work out your bipolarity 1st. You and your two kids are the only family I would invest in it. and GOOD LUCK