Overstimulated and Overwhelmed: Blew the Circuit Board

[Bluetwo]

I have to watch myself on the job. This last episode was because I made a poor choice selecting my assignment. I took on a sub job for two weeks. I did okay for the first week and the second week I started to "fall apart". I was losing my concentration, easily distracted, unable to organize myself and to top it off...I had a class from hell. I was overwhelmed by it all that I got all spun up and went into hypomania.

I had problems putting words together and I did catch myself falling asleep. My energy level were out of wack too and I was zapped by end of the day. My sleep cycle got all disrupted and I was a mess. I had no support from the staff, the absent teacher left no sub notes which is the holy grail for me because that gives me a frame work to work with and I had to keep the unruly students in the classroom.

I had to stuff all my emotions down because you can't yell at the kids anymore and your not solving problems by losing your cool.

So next year it's just daily assignments or few classes that will last three days...that is the max I can work with. I prefer going to school to school subbing. Most teachers leave good sub notes and I follow the lesson plans. Some teachers don't provide sub notes or material for the students to work on but because its just one day...I can blow off the incident and remind the teacher they need subnotes for the subs.

Bipolars need structure and routine. The nice thing with daily assignments I can take breaks when I feel the red flags appearing. I take three days off if I want to recharge my batteries but I don't get paid for my absences which is okay with me. I only made $12,000 last year with no benefits but that is the compromise I'm willing to take to have a job and has flextime incorporated into the job.

I feel sorry for the teachers. I would never be a full time teacher. They do have a hard job.

[Bluetwo]

It was a strange year for me. I had problems in 2005 by taking on too much when my husband was laid off. I had too many part time jobs so I decided to dump the extra jobs and stick with subbing. I couldn't handle the load. My depression didn't last long with the doc tweaking my med's.

This illness is very cunning because this spring 2009 episode happen when I was feeling fine. It's like watching National Geographics "Seconds before Disaster"....you become a investigator trying to figure out what lead up to the disaster.

Did I get enough sleep? Did I take my med's regularly? My mother got ill during the fall but it was a false alarm but it got me worked up. Was it the kids during March Madness? Subbing during the Spring months are very difficult for me because the kids really act crazy and I get all manicky! They should have recess for the kids so they can burn off that energy!


I've been subbing for 10 years now. I was able to function well during the other school years because I paid attention to my red flags and backed off. I took some time off. I'll tell the sub coordinator I need a change pace. So I go to the rotten schools for a spell, decompress in calmer schools for awhile, go back to the rotten schools for more torture and then do "Individual Educational Plan" where I just roam the building telling teachers to go meetings with parents while I take over their class. Sometimes the parents don't show up so I'm sitting in the teachers lounge reading.

So you can't beat that! The job is enough for me. I've been in office jobs in the past where I'm under stimulated. The job was so boring it drove me to tears.

I'm like a bee that goes from one place to another. I like going to different schools because I don't get tangled with politics. Office politics can cause a lot of stress too and I don't want to get involved. If I stay in one location too long...familiarity breeds contempt.
I want to be a friend to all.


Google books does have interesting reading material. I really like this one especially about establishing some type of rhythm in your daily life. I really could identify what was going on because bipolar to me is like a balancing act.

http://books.google.com/books?id=cRMzWcXgFeAC&pg=PA96&lpg=PA96&dq=bipolars+and+over+stimulated&source=bl&ots=xUpAnFMb7e&sig=ZHtxTOF2Sgn_mxTvJaA0csOktak&hl=en&ei=OX9mSsiFOIz-MN3iuaEB&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4

[Xila31]

Teachers do have hard jobs. My family is full of teachers and it is very stressful and is not as easy as people think.

Work is very stressful. I work with patients. Most of them are friendly and usually things go smoothly. It doesn't take much for an angry patient to trigger me, though, and that makes for a rough day trying to hold it all in. I usually go and hide in the storage room if things are really bad. My job is semi-structured, so it is easier, but this year the structure is changing and it gets hard for me. Plus I've had a lot of concentration issues.

Unlike you I have to work full time. I wish I could have a flexible job and work part time, but the cut in pay would put my family in crisis. So, I struggle on as best I can.

[bastet56]

At least you can work and with kids no less! I fall apart( I call it decompose) any time I try to work. The quieter my life is, the more stable I stay.