does this sound like bipolar?

[Rachelinpain]

hi, i am getting concerned that there is a possibility that i have bipolar disorder but do not know exactly what it feels like.  since i was a teen i have been depressed off and on, have attempted suicide a couple times with pills and had thought about and planned it many.  i am 33 now. and am currently going through an episode where i am not sleeping and will get an idea in my head and will frantically try to bring it to fruition.  the last week i got an idea about making some jewelry...not anything unusual right...well now i have been staying up all night making jewelry because the ideas fro stuff come so fast and i have spent almost 500 dollars in 1 week on jewelry making supplies...i have never been interesed in making jewelry before?  looking back on my life i have had several episodes like this with various things.  i am the type of person who constantly has projects un completed because i will get an idea and then get really excited adn hyped a bout it for a while but then that always turns into a feeling of being overwhelmed and withdrawing.  does this sound like it could be mild bipolar disorder or am i just depressed?

[LeftCoastChick]

Regular AD's never worked for long, and I used to have episodes like you, that's not normal. I think you are on the right track, make an app't to see you gp specifically for that. Only a pdoc can do a full diagnose you and get you on better meds. I know my GP did her best when I was battle bad bouts even with AD's on board, but they aren't equipped to handle this stuff. Also, my mum has mental issues but refused to get help, and messed both of us a bit. I'm over it, but wow she was very egocentric. I'm not saying you are but, just point out that if you are worried because of your kids, it's good you're seeing your doc!! It sounds like you are trying to do you best, keep in touch okay?

It's not a picnic with the diagnosis, but logically I think of it as any brain disorder. I have an ex who has seizures, and she carried so much shame.

[Rachelinpain]

thanks for the comments...i will definately mention it to my doctor.  it really would not bother too much if it was not now to the point that my occasional passionate "pursuit" of things was not affecting my bank account and my family.  i am starting to neglect housework and my children when i have these "episodes"  that is what scares me.  i have only been told that i have depression but anti depressents have never worked for me.  i have never seen a psychiatrist.  i guess maybe i have been in denial. as far as a diagnosis....obviously i have no desire to be bi-polar.  i am just wondering if perhaps the reason why anti depressents have never worked is because it is not depression.  it would be good to feel normal.  i do not even remember what that feels like :(

[LeftCoastChick]

I would honestly say you have some characteristics, and you are very lucky you are aware of them, that's the first step to help. I do have to say you need to see a psychiatrist to be diagnosed really.

I went into hospital for a major depressive episode in July, I had serious suicidal ideations, and knew that was bad.I had a almost lethal suicide attempt in '98.  I felt pretty darned good the next day and asked if I could leave, they gave me the weirdest looks. I was kept 4 days. I was discharged with seroqual and some ativan. I had an app't the following Monday with a pdoc at the hospital. I sat there with him and a resident asking me a ton of questions, I felt like a grilled fish. They told me to get a drink and come back in 1/2 or so.

I came back and they dropped the bomb. I have BP2 or BP Spectrum, they even wrote it down for me. The first time in my life I was speechless. They made an app't for me 2 days later, I guess to let it sink in a bit.

I went home and cried and cried.

You sound exactly like me, I've had a suicide attempt, and have about 5k of craft supplies in my walk in closet. Most I couldn't complete because they weren't good enough.

After I finished crying, I looked up as much as I could about BP2, I am a text book case.

This doesn't mean you are, but I would prepare to expect it. I do have to say I am on meds that have made me feel better then I have felt in 15yrs. I still struggle with the label, not because I have it, but how people react to it. Sucide attempts are not mild, and this disorder shouldn't be taken as such. BP1 has the psychotic or full manic states so yes, it's a bit milder, but not to be taken lightly.

See a psychiatrist, you will start a new journey :)
Keep in touch.

[adel_ezz]

don't rush it to be bipolar. it's not a joke trust me. it doesn't mean you have day dreams of being something or an achiever that you become BP. I remember an indian tale about a woman who was about to deliver a baby. So she asked her friend when will I know that I will deliver my baby. So her friend told her your neighbours will inform you. she means when the labour occurs she will be screaming to the extent that her neighbours will know.
don't rush things out. you will know for sure. it isn't that you had insomnia a couple of times that you are BP.
ezz

[monkeyc]

The reality is you need to see a doctor, and a good doctor will send you to see a psychiatrist - I find it amazing that someone can have attempted suicide and not seen one to be honest and I suspect you have seen a psychiatrist.

Id be interested to know what they said?

None of us are doctors or can make a diagnosis on the web, there are some things here which might indicate bipolar but then again those are not only symptoms of bipolar - boundless enthusiasm and hypomania for example are not the same thing - there are other behaviours in hypomania that people reading lists of symptoms miss in the rush of finding something that fits their problem.

Do yourself a great service and get a doctor to refer you to someone who can make a diagnosis.  

[aadel]

Well, I don't want to make a long-distance diagnosis here, but it certainly sounds at first sight that you may be on the right track.  I don't think it's "just" depression as you put it.  Your episodes of boundless enthusiasm have the ring of hypomania, which is one of the essential ingredients of Bipolar 2.

Here is an example from my own history:  I once cloistered myself in my room for four days on end and did nothing but study Esperanto!  At the end of the lock-down, I emerged a fluent Esperanto speaker. Yeah!

However, I am surprised that you have made no mention of medical intervention.  Are you under medical care?  Are you seeing a psychiatrist?  You really must do this before you come crashing down from your current high.  Please take care.

aadel