Ready to pack n leave

[Curiousoneinpain]

Recently I went off my medication in the hopes of getting pregnant only to not get pregnant and to become a ruthless ***** I've severed many friendships as well as relationships with family most of which really didn't matter to me to begin with I've lost my dear aunt who passed away and found out my godmother has cancer all within the past month and I feel like everything's colliding around me I even got nasty with my boyfriend and the added stress of his ex wife and kids mistreating me he now wants to break up because in his words I'm a nasty ***** who wants the world to revolve around her which I don't think asking for affection and a date night here and there and you to get your kids to not treat me like crap is a lot to ask for....but I'm loosing control of my life and feel I have one of two options at this point 1. Give up on everything and let my health go to he'll and let my life dwindle away or take an ativan go to sleep wake up and take the ness I was on and get back on track I just feel so alone with no one who cares and I know it's unhealthy

[persephonedemeter]

Your anger, pain, frustration, sorrow and disappointment come out very clearly in your voice. Anger does not have to be a bad thing as long as a person rises above it and doesn't allow it to completely take over a decision. Use it to take you to a better place and a better situation, where you can live and breathe in a place of growth and empowerment.

I also vote for the second option. Why do yourself the further injustice to buckle down to an oppressive situation and give in. It seems to me it isn't true to the spirit inside yourself. This is another situation you can overcome and allows you to go on to a bigger and better life. Move forward. Take the high road. It sounds like you are able to think while the swirl of emotions and reactions and terrible situations are around you. Think things through and be your own best and supportive friend. Reaching out in this forum  shows that you are capable of this. Sounding it out with others to get a better view at your situation is a good thing. Take it a step further and talk to someone who you respect and who you get support from.

Giving up only gives more pain and sorrow for you and everyone you care about and who cares about you. Your godmother will need courage, support and love. Just as you do now and that, it sounds like, is what you want and need right now. You will need each other to give both of you a chance to survive. When you are giving up on yourself, you are giving up on others who care about you. No, you aren't  alone. It just feels that way.

[007Bunny]

Option 2 please. You need someone to talk to as it is loads around you at the moment. And you need to get better again. It is a stupid illness which makes us nasty and rude. I have the same symptomps :(. Unfortunately the rest of the world can't get it. You see you are not alone! :)
Go back to your pdoc to start again on meds.
Pregnancy can still wait. I had my son when I was 42 after years of trying and an ectopic pregnancy . So miracles happen. But you have to be well first. Marie