going to the hospital?

[theguts]

I have been having thoughts of hurting myself (not to be confused with suicidal thoughts which I have to a lesser degree).  I have gone so far as to pick up a knife but then I "came back to reality" and put it down.  This has been going on for the last couple of days.  So far I have been able to deal with the thoughts and not hurt myself.  My husband thinks I belong in the hospital.  I don't want to go!  I go see my pdoc today at four.  I was scheduled for Friday, but they had a cancellation.  I am hoping she can help without putting me in the hospital.  I really need something for anxiety.  I've been having a lot of that lately because Social Security is reviewing my case to see if I am still disabled.  If they say I'm not, I lose all benefits!  Income, health insurance, meds, everything.  Anyway, I don't have a question, just looking for some support, I guess.  Just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

[LeftCoastChick]

There are worse things then going into the hospital, like contemplating self injury. They aren't going to tie you up and put you in the *white room*. I went in for 4 days, due to suidical ideations, and I was treated extremely well. Really, do you want to suffer or get help?

[ILADVOCATE]

Those thoughts are of concern because they do sound like suicidal ideations even if you stopped them and if they appear beyond you then perhaps they were psychotic thoughts. Speak to your psychiatrist about that and at this point let it be their decision as to whether you go to the hospital or not. As for Social Security obtain comprehensive documentation from your psychiatrist about the severity of your disability and bring that to them. I got accepted at reviews every several years. For myself now if it happenned again they might have issues with my psychiatric disability but I would win for my neurological. For yourself if you are taking medication as prescribed and still have thoughts like that you are still eligible. I can't post the criteria but I have the book and the info is in the public domain. Two good websites are. Disabilitysecrets.com and the official website ssa.gov under "questions". It would make cogent sense to have someone from an independent living center accompany you. They should be able to do that. Here's the list:
http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/directory/index.html
And if you are in the hospital when the appointment comes up have the psychiatrist directly write them. When I was in the Clozaril clinic (outpatient) my psychiatrist wrote them a letter confirming that and my benefits were continued but if hadn't contacted them they would have put me down as not attending. Independent living centers don't provide medical services of course but they would with proper release forms work with your psychiatrist about your benefits issues.