If you are having a major or minor episode go to the hospital or contact your health care provider. It is their job to care for you and your well being. Your life is what you make it, yes some of us get it harder than others. If you are fighting with your partner is it because he is not supporting you enough maybe he needs to understand what it is like to be in your mind. Try a hobby instead of watching t.v. Find something that is not detrimental to your health that makes you feel happy even if it is only slight, a small change can go a long way. Just remember you are not alone and there are thousands of other people going through the same.
Hope you feel better.
ha, sounds familiar!!! I hate mine too