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Christmas strategies?
Well, as a result of 'lovely' family life with my parents I suffer from very specific Christmas depression. My father was bipolar ( not diagnosed) and an alcoholic. Very agressive when drunk. So before Christmas he enjoyed his parties, came home late, drunk, angry etc etc - you got the picture. Since than I hate Christmas. It is a time of depression, anxiety and overall sad time. I always end up depressed beating myself up for being without a partner etc. I have my son so I do Christmas for him. And it is massive. Decorated house, many presents. He obviously loves Christmas and I have to play me too. I wish I could get this **** from the past out of my system. So far I am fighting. But who knows what will be in January? Two years ago I woke up from my Christmas depression in the middle of February. Last year in April.:( I started Lamictal recently as bipolar 2 so I hope we will be on some working dose in January ... I hope it won't get as bad as last year as I do not remember much from that time. Even thought that I managed to get to work (I work just few hours with people and do the rest at home on my own when I want to). Other than that I just got my son to school and slept all days and cried all nighs. I remember to crash few times so I couldn't talk. I hate to be like that. :( Any strategies how to cope are very welcome. Marie
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Sounds like you've got it goin on Girl! Glad the new neighborhood has socializing. Relax & have fun P
Ladies thank you.
I love the idea of 'spreding cheer' and will find my own way. Actually you dear lady from San Francisco have a great arsenal of good ideas. Yes, I am very lucky to have my son as he is my lifesaver. I spend lot of time building Lego with him. In many cases I am bigger child than he is :). I am systematicly building his memories. I want he remembers that his childhood was a happy time.
Love card making - but all the stuf went to bin when my son 'played' with it . He was about 2 years old and all grlitters were all over the bedroom lol.
I am fighting. I decided last year that it won't get me this time - and it was the worse time ever.
This year is very different as thanks to Slimming World I have some parties and have to go out. I like to go out but it is a pain to get a childcare. Very often I just don't want to go, but I go regardless and it is fab. I also moved this year and neighbours have parties in local Church hall - amazing :). But these parties are also for children. So answer to Pam: my personal life is non existent. It is just my son and work. That's it. I know I will survive as I have to. And will try to plan some fun to at least keep myself busy. :)
I love the idea of 'spreding cheer' and will find my own way. Actually you dear lady from San Francisco have a great arsenal of good ideas. Yes, I am very lucky to have my son as he is my lifesaver. I spend lot of time building Lego with him. In many cases I am bigger child than he is :). I am systematicly building his memories. I want he remembers that his childhood was a happy time.
Love card making - but all the stuf went to bin when my son 'played' with it . He was about 2 years old and all grlitters were all over the bedroom lol.
I am fighting. I decided last year that it won't get me this time - and it was the worse time ever.
This year is very different as thanks to Slimming World I have some parties and have to go out. I like to go out but it is a pain to get a childcare. Very often I just don't want to go, but I go regardless and it is fab. I also moved this year and neighbours have parties in local Church hall - amazing :). But these parties are also for children. So answer to Pam: my personal life is non existent. It is just my son and work. That's it. I know I will survive as I have to. And will try to plan some fun to at least keep myself busy. :)
Dear Marie, will you do any adult Christmas activities? I have Agraphobia. Plus a laundry list of other stuff, you know me. Anyway.the good news about how I manage the Bipolar, if I can & I'm asked out, I act the part & go out.
I get all fixed up in party garb & bring token gifts with me, if I receive a gift, I'm not expecting.
A few years ago, I stayed in CA for the Holidays. The neighbors asked me to be a Judge for the Boat Parade in the Harbor. I took my anti anxiety pills with me in Case! I ended up having a great & memorable time. Pamela
I get all fixed up in party garb & bring token gifts with me, if I receive a gift, I'm not expecting.
A few years ago, I stayed in CA for the Holidays. The neighbors asked me to be a Judge for the Boat Parade in the Harbor. I took my anti anxiety pills with me in Case! I ended up having a great & memorable time. Pamela
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Like you, there are trauatic memories involved with my season, although it wasn't really a problem before the last 14 or 15 years. I think you are lucky you have your son to remind you about the spirit of the seaason. More than it meaning a season where family comes together, I tfocus on what it is meant to be, a time when joy is to brighten the darkness of winter and the celebration of the spirit. I say it this way, because I know tthere are people who celebrate the season for a variety of reasons and faith, so I am trying not to step on other peoples' toes as much as possible, although I know I am not going to please everyone. I live in San Francisco. We have to always be diplomatic here. and I personally do believe in tolerance and like variety and differences in the world. So, I am trying to knock down the spirit of the holiday season to the bare essentials.
I don't really look at it as a party time. I look at is as a season of hope and cheer. Coming from a person who was brutally depressed around this time of year, I know it sounds strange, but even if I can't feel it or see it that way, that is what I hold on to. I don't fight my memories. I let them come through my consciousness. When I don't fight them, let myself cry about it, it doesn't stay as long or make such an impact on me anymore. Like you, every year, after the season passes, I always forget what I went through. Before this time, everyone always reminds me to take precautions. So there is always a set plan in case things go south for me. However, it is a week past Thanksgiving, and the usual way that depression manifests isn't happening. Still, I have to keep a watchful eye to iit until the season passes.
I know I just have to take things in stride and not be "overburdened" by the holiday. So, I am just keeping to the spirit of Christmas. Like you, I have the decorations and the lights up, but the only thing I don"t have is the tree. I still collect a Christmas tree ornament or 2, as is my tradition. I also make christmas ornaments, but I only keep it to 2 or 3 of those for myself, and the rest I give away. I also make my own cards, specifically for that person. I make cards that are personalized to the characteristics or what that person is like or some memory we shared. One person is an avid camper and fisherman, so I illustrate a camping scene with the guy fishing. A family member is a scuba diver, so I have Santa Claus in scuba diving gear. That sort of thing. It takes me about a month or 2 to make the cards. I like taking my time to finish things. I know they keep them and save them for years to come. I saw my cards up on their walls framed, on the mantle or on the tree. I make them for the holiday or the season they celebrate. My intent is to let them know I wish them joy and that I love them for who they are. During dark days, they are always light to me. They enrich my life and their presence is a gift.
Next, I spread the cheer. An act of kindness from myself lifts me all the time when I make a small difference in someone's day. I do it anonymously. It is funny, because I also become the receipient of a stranger's act of kindness too. so, there may be something in that saying about "what goes around, comes around." It doesn't have to be big. One of the favorite things I like to do is prepay the next person's in line's coffee or pay the next person's toll. I also will pay for someone's lunch or dinner. I just pick people at random. When i do something like that, it doesn't only make that person's day but it also makes the person who delivers the act of kindness day also. It multiplies. a lot of times, unexpectedly, the person who was in on it or the establishment will give me whatever I am there for "on the house." People glow when that happens. Next thing you know, there are times when it goes down the line. It isn't unusual for people who receive the act to pass it on to the person behind them and the next. There is a lot of goodness out there. It just needs a spark to happen, and it makes me feel reallly good about it. I do not underestimate the act of kindness. I like to think that someone out there is doing the same thing or will do the same thing for someone I love and care about.
I go for the spirit. I can't do anything about the past, but I can make good memories happen now to outweigh the past and give me hope and build on. I also learned to be kind to myself. I treat myself with something I really enjoy. Right now, it is unusually freezing cold outside. So, I am taking my cue from Harry Potter and having a nice piece of chocolate or a cup of hot chocolate with a marshmallow on top to ward off "dementors." That is also something that I enjoy. Re-reading a favorite childhood story or a children's story I appreciate or I like to watch a really good movie tht has a good ending and not a tragedy. I also made a playlist of all my favorite songs that I think are beautiful and inspires me. So, for the inner child in me, I am kind to her also.