anti-depressants and suicide thoughts

[SilentRage]

I went to see new doc since my old one isn't coming back.  Anyway this new doc prescribe me Paxil but one of the side effects is suicidal thoughts. There is no way I am taking that now. She said I would be monitored closely but I will only see her once a month so how. Plus what happen to that gentleman who was bipolar commited suicide live on webcam his medicine also had that side effect and it scared me even more, because we have no control over the meds . That's y my last pdoc didn't put me on because I was having homicidal and racing thoughts and felt certain anti-depressants would escalate. Can I get any advice on what should I do?  I see her the ninth plus I haven't taken anything since September.

[RJ233]

You are very welcome. RJ

[SilentRage]

Thank you so much for your advice. I will definetly talk to her.

[RJ233]

Be up front with her. Tell her you want help, but you have a real fear of a medication that has a side effect causing suicidal thoughts. You don't care about being monitored, you want something that does not have that side effect. You have every right to have a say in your treatment and decline a medication you don't feel safe taking. You can talk to your pharmacist and get suggestions of medications for treatment that does not carry those risks, then discuss them with your dr. Hope things work out for you. If she doesn't want to help you, there are other drs and I would go to one of them.