Could I have BP?

[ProdigalGirl]

Ok, gonna just cut to the chase here b/c long posts lose interest quick and I really would appreciate help. Here is my situation...

I have suffered from chronic pain for many years. Due to this I have been very depressed, isolated etc. I have seen a pychiatrist for over 10 years faithfully every month.In these past 10 years it has crossed my mind more that once if I am bipolar. I have inquired with my doctor and he always said no. He says it's situational depression( from pain issues) and generalized anxiety.In my mind I always thought that ppl that had bipolar were extremely manic followed by overwhelming depression. Well, my symptoms have gotten worse on the sorta manic side. I have severe sleeping problems. I can go days on a total of  6 hours sleep. I am very agitated, hyped up, aggressive etc and never was this bad. I have in the past attempted suicide 2 times and get suicidal thoughts more often again.I self medicate and abuse my medications. However, the other side of me wonders if this is brought on by medication. I just don't know. It was brought to my attention by a friend that I may have bp. My family has said comments over the years that I was but this was always in an arguement so I never knew what to believe. How do I get a diagnosis if my doctor doesn't think I am? I need to feel better b/c my body is getting worn down from lack of sleep. Although I keep goin and goin, my internal clock is screaming for rest.When I get depressed, I isolate completly from everyone. The list goes on and on.


What do you kind people think?

[bernie40]

Hi,  I agree with LCC.  Change your pdoc, it sounds like he/she is stuck on your original diagnosis and isn't interested in investigating further.  It does sound like you are experiencing mood swings and the fact that you are self harming and self medicating are serious issues that need a good pdoc.

:-)

[ProdigalGirl]

Thank you very much for your response LLC. Oh btw, the paranoia that I have is one of the worst symptoms.  

[LeftCoastChick]

Personally I would see a new pdoc. If that doctor hasn't figured out what's going on in that period of time, if you fully disclosed your mood swings and abusing meds.  We can't diagnose you here, BUT going to a new pdoc will certainly help I think. If you ever get to the point of self harm again, it's important you to your local ER, you will be seen by a different pdoc. I saw a pdoc for a total of 3 yrs, and not once did he diagnose me BP, with me disclosing suicidal ideations, serious anxiety, self isolation and at times a bit paranoid(I thought I would lose my job all the time) , and a very very close call suicide attempt.  They asked me I wanted to go back to my old pdoc, Hell No!

   I never even passed my mind I might be BP, but in the end I'm glad I did, I'm more stable then I have been in years. I'm on a better med, not an anti-depressant, something to help with my serious anxiety and hypomania.   Personally the easiest way to get help is go to the ER. I was told otherwise, it might take 6 months, and I knew I didn't have six months.

So my suggestion do what you have to do, to get the help, you'll be glad you did, regardless of the diagnosis, there are so many different diagnoses in Mood Disorders, I wouldn't guess until you've seen a shrink.
Keep in touch,
LCC