I do not get feelings of elation I get severly aggressive,paranoid and delusional accompanied with Depression.I have always taken my medicine but its like it stops working after awhile.Currently this episode has continued for over two months.Despite all my best efforts (Hospitilizing myself,readjusting meds,counseling) I am not well,AT ALL. To be trapped in this brain for 5 minutes is pure agonizing hell. I feel like I am wading through a dream,everything is fuzzy and foggy, nothing is "real".I have to get off the planet Earth,I fear the ground will open up and I will fall into the vacummn of space,I fear the sky,since it will suck me up and eveything else is just mere molecular curtains.NOWHERE IS SAFE!! I am just a pair of floating eyeballs the rest of my body does not exist.I get no rest with sleep as my dreams are lucid and I can not escape my brain therefore I stay awake not out of Mania but there is no point in it. I need serious intervention or I'm about to break! What can I do? I had to quit work,I have no insurance/money and Im currently borderline homeless...What a tailspin into hell.