I dont know how to react?????? HELP

[cuddles94]

So my boyfriend has been diagnosed with skitso and bipolar disorder for a few years now. I mean I love him to death. But some of his out bursts are beyond hurtful and I have no clue how to react to them. What to say? Should I get pist?..... Just the other day he broke up with me twice in a three hour period (over nothing) and I asked him what I was supposed to do if I was pregnant with his kid (which is a possibility) he says get an abortion. I hope you cry all night about loosing me to. (And After him breaking up with me the first time and saying the abortion thing he goes inside and comes out 3 mins later Nd asks why I was crying, he didn't even remember saying anything, let alone what) I mean how do you react to something like that. :( I know I shouldn't get pist cause he can't help it but damn.

[cuddles94]

Thanks for your comment. It's fine it was long, the longer the better. More advice for me :) and I am most definitely going to try everything I haven't tried yet. To be honest I do try to defend my self when he yells and gets angry not even thinking he can't help it, so I mean it's probably way better to not get in his face when he's in mine. In stead wait a few minutes until he clams down and then talk it out. But sometime when I ask him what triggered his out burst he sometimes gets even more mad. And then I just leave it alone because I don't want it to get to the point of violence. And his doctor suggested we do couples counsling. Because his behavior emotionaly and metally breaks me down sometimes. But I'm not exactly sure how he feels about it. Some people say I should just leave him but I don't look at that as an option I love him to much.

He also recently got a job so he's out of town during the weekdays. But when he's home on the weekend he's like normal fun, laughing, loving. I think now that he has something to do that he might be able to control it better. But that's just observation. Hes only been working there for about two or three weeks.

One more thing. Is that since the big fig html we had were he broke up with me twice. He said that same night "ThIs relationship isn't going to go any where but down hill" but it hasn't its actually gotten better. And I even asked him about him saying that and he said right away "I 100% take it back." Because apparently every other relationship hes been in after a bug fight like that they just left him. Like I said that not an option for me.

[tbiM20]

My boyfriend is also bipolar, and can have problems controlling his temper or being so direct as to actually be hurtful. Unfortunately I have no experience with schitzophrenia (spelling?), but here are some ways my bf and I handle the bipolar disorder.

The one thing I recommend is don't rise to a fight. Many arguments are from getting offended over things that weren't ever meant in that way. If he has lost his temper, don't shout back, it doesn't help (useful advice even w/o bipolar). Tell him you want a calm discussion, not an argument. That usually helps my bf realize when he's gotten a little over excited. Also good general advice, if he's mad about something you said or did, just explain your reasons. You don't have to defend yourself. For example, my dbf was upset yesterday because I "didn't support him" (referring to my mention of cost of a new gym membership vs. his current one). My response was to apologize for coming off that way, because I never meant it as unsupportive, simply concerned of any additional benefits associated with this new cost.

If his behavior is upsetting - or yours is upsetting to him - maybe the best thing to do would be to take a time out, and try approaching it again without the negativity. Like you said, he can't help it, so giving it a second chance may help to clear things up, without the problems of the first go-around. And finally, try just talking to him. It may feel awkward at first, but is waaaaay better than waiting and letting it all out in a big fight.

Please remember this is just advice from my personal experiences - consider getting professional advice as well.

Hope that helps (sorry for the long post.)