I know that it is hard and I feel your pain. I went through a similar situation and all I can tell you is stay strong and fight your Bi-polar with all the strength GOD has given you. I have a husband who had to learn what Bi-polar can do to a person(omg I put him through so much) and a marriage. I advise you, if your husband is sticking it out through your hard times KEEP HIM!!. if he never claims you ruin his life and still supports you the best he can, then you should count your blessing. I had a few associates(who I thought were friends) that were also Bi-polar and they ruined there lives by pushing away the husband/boyfriends that was always there for them during their phases/cycling. They cavorted with other men and even had sexual encounters(which is not safe at all) only to be left standing alone because most people are not willing to deal with a bi-polar person. They will use you and your husband will have moved on and you will regret not sticking it out. I know i make it sound easy but remeber FIGHT AND HOLD ON TO THAT MAN!
Leaving may seem like you are being helpful to him but you are not, men are natural protectors and if he is staying its because he wants to, not because he has to. Please do your best to save your marriage. Let me know how this works out for you/ Good luck!
This has been my life too. What I am discovering is that with time and patience on both ends, you can get through it. I still say such regrettable things... To put it lightly as you can probably imagine. But he is still with me, and trying to learn. If you can make any suggestions that would help when things are bad--I just want him to sit with me, hold me, hold my hand, and not say much. I can find fault even in kind words during an episode. Practice reciting what makes him great when you are good. It helps put a buffer between your actions and thoughts. Please keep us updated, I'd like to chat more since this is so real to my situation. Xo
Welcome to the forum. Please do not beat yourself up. That is the type of sabotage thinking that can lead yo further into depression. Can you tell me more about what is going on?
I know it must be so terribly hard. Are you on medication? Do you truly feel that only your illness is to blame for your marriage? I am not at all meaning to hurt your feelings but it's important for you to really look deep inside and see if there were any behaviors of yours that you can't blame on being bipolar.
I hope that your marriage can be repaired.