So when was 9 I was bullied for being too fat, or weird, or ugly and I was always talked about and had no friends at all. I then decided to tell my mom that my vagina hurts so we would go to the hospital at night and hopefully stay there for so long that I wouldn’t have to go to school, after about 2 trips to the hospital a social worker came in to talk to me and although I never ever remember being molested or raped by anybody I lied and said that my dads roommate did it because I thought I was in to deep and couldn’t back out of the lie. After that for the next 2 years of my life it was multiple appointments and court dates and stress for everyone all because I Started this stupid lie, I then between those time started to feel suicidal also and have been depressed and suicidal for 3 years now. I cant remember much bad from my childhood other than being whooped when I was bad and I don’t recall being mentally or sexually abused. But for the past 2 years my mom has hated my dad and the roommate( that’s been kicked out) and every time I have an outburst or my depression kicks in or my bpd kicks in she always blames it on that lie, so I wonder sometime really what started to make me even so angry and suicidal since I don’t recall ever being sexually abused what could it be? Someone help me please I’ve been wondering and I need to know why I am this way.