Any thoughts on this non-medical question?

[kumara]

I just wonder how other women have coped with this issue that is causing me a lot of grief currently.
I'm struggling to come to terms with the physical disfigurement of my mastectomy and the total loss of libido which I understand could be related to taking 'femara' and also 'fluox' for depression
Each morning, when I shower, I'm faced with the horrible sight of my mutilated body.
My husband goes to work each day and is surrounded by gorgeous  women and cleavage ++ is in these days as you've maybe noticed.
I can feel myself retreating, staying home most days and struggling to come to terms with these issues.

It reads so trivial this message, given what you are all dealing with, I hesitate to post it.

But just don't know where else to offload, so trust you will understand.

[MissCCAZUS]

I don't feel that your question is trivial at all and is probably felt by many women in your shoes.  Remember that you are a cancer survivor and you have been through a lot and you survived.  You are strong and its not your breasts that make you beautiful and desirable.  I'm sure your husband married you for so much more than a pair of boobs.  Go out and do something that makes you feel good and love your family and yourself.  
I am just starting on the path of breast cancer and also worry about what life will be like afterwards but we are lucky to still be here.  Think of yourself as lucky, and strong, and know that many people in your life love you and are happy that you are still with them.  Best wishes on your journey.

[Doritabuch65]

When you look at your breast after surgery dont think about how it looks change your thought process to thank God the Cancer is GONE!

[Noelle04]

Wow...I just jumped on here to check messages, and somehow found this post.  I haven't had a mastectomy, and I don't have breast cancer, but I do have a severly disfigured breast with a 14 cm wound (basically, my breast is split in half).  I've had about a quarter of the breast tissue removed ( I have a rare breast disease).  Last night, I cried so much my eyes are still swollen this morning.  How could my husband be attracted to me?  How could he not be tempted by women who have "beautiful", full, healthy breasts?  And how can I believe him that's he's not tempted?  Do I gross him out every time he has to help me clean out and repack my wound? And what if I do end up getting the mastectomy?  How would he feel?

It was weird that I stumbled on this post.  You all are so brave and I thank you so much.  Even though your words weren't directed at me, you helped me quite a bit.

[kumara]

Thank you Hazel, Ihughes and Cowgirl for your replies to mine. Your perspectives, a mastectomy as a "badge of courage" , just what I needed to read.

I've just been and looked at myself in the mirror (at 4.40am) straightened my shoulders, lifted my head and said  to  myself I am alive!

Bless you all, and Cowgirl, thinking of you as you deal with your own situation.

[Cowgirl37]

Amen, very well said.  I hope I never have to walk in either of your shoes, but I would also hope and pray that if I do I will be as strong as both of you are.  I watched my Mom go through it.  

Kumara, read their stories.  I've followed HazelLynn's from day one because I'm going through the biopsy process as we speak.  I was rooting for her and she seems happy now that she knows that "it's" not in her anymore.  I think with her husband by her side fighting along with her, she made the right choice.  It all happens so quickly, looking back anyway.  

I don't know your situation, but I would consider reconstruction if you can.  Not for the husband, but for you and that shower thing....I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Don't let it get you down.  I bet you can doll yourself up and feel 100 times more pretty than those "girls" he works with because you are much stronger than them.  You've proved that already.  

Get out there and go get em!

Cowgirl

[lhughes]

I didn't want to even look at my mastectomy for nearly 2 months after the surgery.  Eventually I did get more and more used to it.  My husband, while not very appreciative of the flatness of one side, didn't mind at all....and he's a breast-man.  I didn't have my reconstruction until a year and a half later.  Now that the new one is in place, he says he likes the results.

I surely didn't want to go through a mastectomy, didn't want cancer, especially didn't want lymphedema.  Got 'em all.  Got a good life, too.  And that's what I try to focus on, I'm still here and still kicking.  I can joke all I want about being a "bad buddha", but those first few moments after surgery were indeed difficult.

Don't let the lack of breast keep you in the house.  That does you no good at all.  Doll yourself up ... hair, makeup, clothes that flatter.... get your nails done.... it doesn't matter in the end if you have 1 or 2 or no breasts.  What matters is you are still here, so put your best face forward.  

It's not trivial, what you are going through, it's just part of this whole thing called breast cancer.  Don't let it win.

[HazelLynn]

Hi,  I am sorry that you feel so bad about your mastectomy and the way it looks - I had one about a month ago and prior to that a lumpectomy the month before -  I hope the way I look at it helps you to look at it differently - I see it as a life saver, as a medal of courage, as freedom from a cancerous problem, as a sign of love for my children. I know that if I still had it, I would be worrying what was lurking, so this has given me peace and satisfaction that I know I have taken a huge step to make myself as healthy as I can and to give myself a longer life that I can share with my family.  You have been very brave and it is such a rotten ordeal that we have both been through, but now the problem has been removed.  My husband is as relieved as I am that it has been taken off - husbands love us, not just our flesh.

Hazel