Did my mom wait too long?

[shan0906]

Hi there,

My mom just told me she has breast cancer. She has had a lump for over a year and it recently broke out into a sore. She went to the ER and the doctor looked at it and said "Yup you have breast cancer and if you don't get it treated you will die". He told her just like that, she was alone and extremely scared. I have since filled a major complaint against this doctor for telling her this way and just sending he on her way. She doesn't have insurance and I think that played into his bed side manner or lack there of.

Anyhow she has an appt. this Friday with the City of Hope and they will run tests to see what exactly she has. She is terrified that she's going to get in there an they are going to tell her she has 6 months to live. I've been telling her that it's going to be okay. Everything I've been reading is making me unsure and I need some kind of good news cuz I am scared and I need to know what I am dealing with.  She has had a lump for over a year, prolly about 18 months. The rude doctor did say her lymph nodes under her arms were not swollen. From what I have read that is a good sign. What has me scared is the survival rate is better if you catch it early. Did my mom wait too long? Is she going to be able to recover from this? Please be blunt with me I want to know if it's good or bad.

Thanks

[shan0906]

Hi there,

Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate the responses. My mom is going in today and will get her exam. Unfortunately I can't be there with her cuz I live out of state. However her two very close friends and my brother are with her. We love her very much and I keep encouraging her that it will all be alright. There is so much they can do now for this and she's going to the City of Hope and I know they will take good care of her. There is such great support every where it's just wonderful. God bless you all!

[beacon800]

That was a harsh comment from the ER doctor.  If you think about very "analytically", he is telling the truth: if a person has breast cancer and they don't treat it, they will probably die.  And that is true for every single person in the world, not just your mom, so he did not need to say it that way.  That comment was unnecessary.

Tell your mom that she is very likely to be fine and nothing can  be known til the diagnostics are run and they see what is going on with her.  Each case is unique.  Make sure your mom gets lots of support and is not left alone to worry herself.  I know how scary it is for her.  God Bless you both.

[iam1butterfly]

Okay, so this one doctor in the ER came right out and stated... "his opinion" regarding you mom's condition. But, that's his opinion, no doubt based on experience; but also likely without benefit of complete and extensive diagnostic testing. Thankfully, she's about to undergo the kind of testing that'll give insights into her current status (a diagnosis); recommendations for her course of treatment; and, a subsequent prognosis.
But, it's really hard to say this early into her care, what her survivability will be. And, one will always second guess as to what she could have or should have done about the lump... and whether or not she waited too long. But, please don't allow herself or anyone else for that matter... "beat her up" and scold her over that. She feels bad enough as it is, I'm sure. Eventually, you'll have answers to your questions and concerns. But, right now, what's imperative is that your mother receive immediate medical attention, compassion and loving support from those around her. And, think positive thoughts... that always goes a long way.
Take care... my prayers and best wishes go to you and especially, to your mom.